jessica posted a comment on my last blog entry inquiring how it was to fly with my intense immense fear of flying.... the answer is.... not easy. but i'm alive so that means it was a great flight.
i deal with the fear by becoming very spiritual (of course don't we all become spiritual when faced with crazy fear?) and by talking to myself the entire flight- literally... i say things like "it's more safe to fly than drive", "it is way more likely i'll be fine than not fine", "g-d hasn't brought me this far only to end it all now",(poo poo poo...), "turbulence doesn't bring a plane down".. you get the idea. and i convince myself (whether right or wrong) that if terrorism is going to cause the plane to crash it'll happen within the first 30 minutes of flight so when it doesn't i breathe a little more easily.
when i fly with my children, as i did this time, i have to work extra hard to control the fear or deal with the fear because i don't want them to have it too. a lot of parents i know find it easier to fly with their kids because they figure if the plane goes down they all go together- but i find that flying with them makes me feel a little worse because i worry about their getting the opportunity to grow up blah blah blah... i imagine horrible things and their sweet little faces gripped with fear...and then i say to myself "STOP" and i alter my thinking. my husband keithy booked this flight for us and did a smart thing- he sat with my kids and i sat alone in the row in front of them. this way i could panic silently without disturbing anyone else...and my kids got to kick my seat!
also, for this trip i checked out a website fear of flying which has a great faq section. i found reading the site helped me think a little more rationally.
look, it is just not realistic to never fly and quite frankly i know it's ridiculous to want to "never" fly, so it is my job to find a way to make it the best i can for me and anyone traveling with me. hopefully one day i'll even like flying.
good luck to anyone who is flying this holiday season. you can do it! and you will be fine (i think).