yeah yeah… i know. it’s enough already.
who wants to hear anymore about my sadness. i’m even bored by it.
but it’s there.
and this week has been so hard with the press surrounding "whatever, martha!".
i would just LOVE to hear my mother’s take on the whole thing.
and i need her.
but i have to get over that too.
at least i can still hear her voice in my mind and i have tapes of her from when she called into our show. but it is so not the same as really hearing her.
for a brief moment last week i felt some relief that my mom is no longer suffering.
but that brief moment was replaced again by the sadness.
i am struggling.
it’s normal i suppose.
but it is not fun.
we talked on the show today about a gratitude list so here goes…
1. i’m grateful for my kids and keith.
2. i’m grateful for the close relationship i have with my brother, sister and father (and extended family).
3. i’m grateful for the support of my good friends and my mothers good friends.
4. i’m grateful to have a job i LOVE.
6. i’m grateful to have my dog hazel hutt who doesn’t care how often i cry.
7. i’m grateful i’ve got a roof over my head.
8. i’m grateful for the listeners who make me feel safe each afternoon on the radio.
9. i’m grateful that even during this painful time in my life i can still laugh.
people keep telling me that at some point i will be able to feel my mother. i will know she’s around me. hasn’t happened yet.
facebook: jennifer koppelman hutt