1. my natural hair color was red when i was younger. now it is (unfortunately) quite gray mixed with red and mousy brown.
2. i don't think i have to grieve "a bit more privately". i think grieving happens as it does. most days i keep it together in public well...but some days it is just too difficult. i am a believer in going through the emotions so that i will get to the other side of them. i am feeling everything and working through it. i am focused on taking better care of myself and i get dressed in work clothing most days (i don't wear pjs to work very often anymore!) and i am sure at some point i will talk to a therapist- i know it would be good for me- but i am not ready to do that just yet. oh and alexis is good to me when i am sad. she's kidding (kind of) about not being able to deal with my crying.
3. keith is doing ok. we are dealing with taking care of his mother now. we are there for eachother. and of course i tell him i love him. my kids are ok too. i do not neglect them nor bring them down with my sadness, in fact i am strongest when with them. as for the rest of my immediate family- my father, brother and sister- each are handling the loss of my mother in his/her own way. i don't feel comfortable blogging about their healing because i don't think it is mine to tell but we do all take care of eachother.
4. to contact me directly you can always email firstname.lastname@example.org or message my facebook: jennifer koppelman hutt.
5. there are no plans to sue anyone. the oncologist's medical treatment was not below the standard of care and my mother's diagnosis was a death sentence. i don't blame my mother's oncologist for her death, i just don't like the guy.
6. to the girl who lost her fiance to suicide a couple of weeks ago... i am so sorry. i don't think anyone would expect you to move on from it a couple of weeks after it happened. if you do not have an outlet to let your feelings out then please find one for yourself... whether it is in the form of a therapist, friends, family, a journal or a blog etc. and in terms of getting through the day, just keep going. also, i think there is no wrong way to deal with loss. so please be gentle with yourself. i can only imagine how terrible you must be feeling. again i am so sorry and feel free to contact me anytime (see above).
7. yes, i have expressed my gratitude to dr. death several times. my whole family did.
thank you to all the compassionate people who took the time to comment and to the ones who are irritated by my grief, i should be done ranting about it for a while. (but i make no promises!)
facebook: jennifer koppelman hutt