another month. another holiday. another "first" without my mom.
i got through rosh hashanah and yom kippur. keith’s birthday and my son’s 10th birthday came and went. halloween was yesterday. that leaves thanksgiving, my nephew’s barmitzvah, chanukah, new year’s, my mom’s birthday, my birthday, my dad’s birthday, passover, my brother’s birthday, my other nephew’s barmitzvah, my niece’s birthday, mother’s day, my other nieces’ birthdays, my daughter’s birthday. (my sister turned 40 july 11, 3 days after my mom died) and any and all other "firsts" i can’t think of now.
and after all the "firsts" am i supposed to miss her less?!
the thing is i am getting used to life without my mom. and that makes me sad.
i don’t look for her in my parents’ house anymore because it has sunk in that she isn’t there.
harsh reality of time i suppose. and i don’t pick up the phone to call her anymore, i just wish that i could.
but i still miss her like crazy. and it still sucks that she died.
facebook: jennifer koppelman hutt