my being a “work out of the house” mom is a gift to my kids.
although they may wish i were home more, i know that the reality of my being in the house on a constant basis would provide for a beyond “helicopter type” parenting environment.
it would be more like the “blanket type” parenting style because i’d be blanketing them CONSTANTLY with my fears and my worry about their well being.
i really like this blogger who calls herself “selfish mom”. she’s smart, funny, and honest about her life with two kids and “the ass” (her husband).
but a recent one of her posts about her 10 year old son’s chore of walking his younger sister home from school (without adult supervision) made me question her parenting style…and mine.
first thought: FREAK! omg what is wrong with this mother?!?! how could she allow (DEMAND!) her 10 year old son to walk ALONE with her 7 year old daughter on city streets. did she not hear about the young boy from crown heights who was MURDERED while walking home alone from school?! is she really so lazy that she can’t get off her ass (not referencing her husband!) and go fetch her children (i know i am being harsh. i don’t REALLY think she’s lazy).
second thought: ENVY. im envious that she doesn’t fear the atrocities (im referring to the ones that DON’T usually happen) like i do.
i’m envious that she can let her kids BREATHE without needing to see that breath.
sometimes i fear my over protective nature is going to stifle my kids.
and then i realize that my level of protection is a fruitless endeavor anyhow… because i can’t protect them from everything no matter how hard i try.
they will experience sadness. and frustration. and disappointment. and intense joy. and boredom.
i can’t protect them from living.
and in the moment that i accept this, i realize maybe i can let them “walk” alone…or at least let them THINK they are walking alone.
can that be enough for now?!
ps: i am chock full of self loathing because i judged another mother. so uncool of me.