(This post is also available on Huffington Post) This past weekend I had the great fortune of going to the Tony Robbins four day seminar in Secaucus, New Jersey. I was super excited to figure out what was stopping me from achieving what I wanted: that is to make more money. I was also super excited to be in the presence of the great Anthony (Tony) Robbins. I've been a fan for years- being a larger toothed woman I am comforted when around a man with the same! And Tony is probably the most charismatic man I've ever met. He's HUGE but not at all scary. He's Incredibly Intense but also incredibly funny. He's super SMART and emotionally connected like a best friend. He's even sexy. And though we pay handsomely for his seminar, Tony is generous. I would pay double for what he gives. Tony Robbins radiates rockstar. He is a rockstar. I was less excited to stay in not so sunny Secaucus, New Jersey. A few concerns presented themselves to me while I was getting ready for the trip: What would I wear? ("You never get a second chance to make a first impression") How would I handle sharing a hotel room? I was scheduled to room with a new friend and this was giving me more anxiety than the what to wear- I am not the sharing a room type. And how would i handle, specifically, THIS hotel room?! Fear of bed bugs was all consuming. As was the concept of how gross this hotel had to be: a borderline motel: The Hyatt Place in Secaucus, New Jersey. I'm not a fancy girl who gets to traipse around the globe and trip the light fantastic often, but when I do travel, I try to make certain that my accommodations are top notch. In quick summation re: my hotel stay- I decided to get my own room so that my experience during the seminar wasn't hindered by my worrying about my sleeping and bathroom environment. And, SURPRISE!! The Hyatt Place has no bed bugs, is SUPER CLEAN, has a terrific staff and plenty of peanut butter packets and fresh apples. My prejudice against Secaucus lodging was completely unfounded. I recommend this hotel without hesitation. In terms of wardrobe, I went with my usual uniform of black milk clothing printed leggings (different pair for each day), my vintage Steve Madden platform boots and simple tops. (First day's leggings were a giraffe print.) I was happy with my wardrobe selection- even felt cool when I ran into Oprah magazine's creative director/style guru Adam Glassman. When he said to me on day three "oh you have a thing for printed leggings." I replied with "yup!" but inside I was shouting "yippee you noticed!!!" Day one: Tony got on the stage to roars of applause. He engaged us for 13 hours without a bathroom break or a meal for himself! On the other hand, I used the facilities four times and made sure to keep my belly well satiated. Day one culminated in a 2am fire walk. It was awesome to walk across hot coals barefoot. Power of the mind is astounding. During the next three days, Tony and his team taught us in great detail how to approach figuring out what holds us back: Finding beliefs that need changing, figuring out what action needs to be taken, connecting us to our inner selves so we can no longer lie to ourselves about who we are and what we want. (Out of respect to Tony Robbins and his team, I won't go into too much detail about how he achieves making us think and what he tells us to do to change our circumstances, but his method is unlike any I've experienced and it is both draining and invigorating - there's more "stranger" touching and hugging than I'm comfortable with but I understand its purpose.) Before I went on this journey of self discovery I was told by others who had been, "Don't be surprised when you find you went for one reason and left realizing you needed to be there for a whole other reason." Yeah right. I'm enlightened already. I'm here to learn how to make more money! BUT I had great epiphanies during the seminar and even more profound ones when I arrived home. My goodness, I did need to be there for a whole other reason! While at the seminar, I realized one of my limiting beliefs was my belief that I wasted my life away when i was fat - accomplished nothing and now , no longer fat at 42 (I lost close to 70 lbs two and a half years ago), it is too late to be a success. The truth: I've accomplished plenty. I'm a lawyer, a mom with two kids, a wife, a radio host and co host for 6.5 years, a co author, a sometimes tv personality, a blogger, a video blogger, a singer, a hip hop dancer, a great advice giver, a compassionate friend and I'm sure more. Not only is it NOT too late, It is just my beginning! And, in truth, my fear of being accomplished and how that would impact my life (more exposure=more scrutiny) has, in part, been what's holding me back. Ok! Great! I've got it. Four days of intense learning and self discovery and interacting with others (out of my comfort zone!) I've figured it out and know what I need to do to move forward and prosper. Tony Robbins' method really does work! but THEN the real moment of discovery came when I got home, got quiet and reflected on the weekend. And I think this is the ultimate power of what Tony does: he shakes up our thought processes in such a strong and positive way that what we learn from him lingers long after we've left. We leave with a much stronger mind that is open and willing and ready to figure out what needs to be done to grow. When I got home, I realized that I've been attributing my weight loss, my career triumphs, my ambition, my happiness, and my unhappiness to someone else (no, not my ex co host!). I realized that I was holding on to the thought of someone else's idea of me to motivate me to do more. And because of this, I was allowing any thoughts of and perhaps any interactions with this person to impact my worth. And my worth hasn't been positively impacted as of late. And It is time to let go of what I've held on to for so long. Drop the crutch. I dont need it or want it anymore. My limiting belief: My worth is determined by someone else. The truth: My worth is determined by me. I've used the idea of someone else's influence and importance as a crutch to hold me back because if I can attribute my successes to someone else, then I have to do the same with my failures. I leave myself with no responsibility for my successes or failures this way. I attribute my destiny to another. How can I even try to be anything if I believe it is all in some way determined by someone else?!?! I rejoiced after I felt the despair of this new understanding. Because I know now it is all up to me. Thank you Tony Robbins.