Jennifer Hutt

(it had been 20 years since i’d done this. maybe more!)
xo
jenny

today im 42.

and today, along with being a successful devoted working mother and wife, i want (desperately?!) to be a milf.

a milf is a “mother i’d like to eff” (different from being a cougar because a cougar wants to be effed and is the predator- a milf is the prey!)

in my 20s, it seemed the opposite of normal that i was uncomfortable being sexy. every girl (who had the body to!) rocked the tight low cut shirts with short shorts or tight jeans and those who were not so able bodied would wear other sexually compelling (or is it complimentary) clothing- dresses with deep vs, short skirts, booty displaying pants, or high heels.

when i dressed sexy at 22 (because i had the body to do so for about 2 months!) i felt like a fraud.
and i was so nervous, i am sure i was emitting some “do not come anywhere near me” scent.

i was embarrassed to own my sexuality.
i was embarrassed to own my power to turn men on.

i was ashamed to want the attention from men for my being sexy.

and now at 42 i’m no longer embarrassed or ashamed to want the attention for being perceived as sexy.

heck, ill scream from the rooftop: “please (still) find me sexy! please please give me this kind of attention while i still have time- while i still ovulate!”

but again, i am the opposite of normal. because according to our still far too uptight society i’m SUPPOSED to be embarrassed to admit the want of male attention.

and that’s fucked up.

why are women of a certain age, especially married women with children, supposed to quiet down the want to be desirable to someone other than our spouses or significant others?

i work hard to no longer have a giant ass.

i work hard to limit the amount of jiggle visible beneath my biceps.

i work hard to smell good.

i work hard to keep my breasts elevated (well i suppose the bra is working harder than i am!)

i work hard to make sure the head on my hair remains full and lovely.

i work hard to make sure there’s VERY LITTLE hair anywhere else.

i work hard to keep my hormone-ally charged skin from breaking out in conspicuous places.

and i want to be rewarded for my effort by a glance, a wink, a hoot, a howl, or a solicitation.

i won’t thwart the glance, may even egg it on, but i will say no (99.9999 % of the time).

i’d like for all women including mothers my age and younger to embrace being hot, sexy, dirty and milfy.

it is healthy. and should be deemed appropriate and normal.

sex in some capacity or another drives each of us.