Still Raw.

Seven years ago, my mother, Bunny, died. Seven years ago, I kissed her face, held her hand, whispered I love you and watched her take her last breath.   I am still so raw.   I miss her. I miss her more and more as the years go on. The void feels bigger somehow while…

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Let Me Die First

Let me die first. Nauseating. Sorry. But if I am thinking or feeling it then maybe you are too. I read a tragic story about a beautiful young girl’s suicide brought on by years of suffering from mental illness. Doris Fuller was a devoted mother to her bright and talented daughter Natalie. They had a strong,…

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I Love This!

Yesterday I Interviewed Dallas Hartwig (one half of the Whole30 duo) – buy their book here! During the interview, Dallas told me about the concept of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz.   1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. Pretty good…

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I Want To Be Wild

I love my life as much as the next middle-aged-happily-married-mother of two. I’ve got a great guy and awesome kids (complete with manageable issues).  I like my career,  and like most people, sometimes I wonder if having my career is even worth anything. I don’t want a different life. But I do fantasize about running…

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Almost Forty-Five.

The shriveling. That’s what I’m ruminating about today. Two days before I have the luxury of turning forty-five, while my exquisite friend Bari just passed away at forty-five, I’m focusing on the shriveling of my belly and what sometimes feels like the shriveling of my being. My body which holds too-many-to-count-can’t-recall-how-I-even-got-them-scars keeps surprising me with new nooks, crannies and…

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2015!

This year let’s listen to the positive voice in our heads instead of the negative one. This year let’s choose belief over disbelief. This year let’s get off our asses and try.  Really try. This year let’s say yes. And let’s say no when we really don’t want to say yes. This year let’s treat…

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25 Things I Learned From My Mother

6 years ago today my mom died. I’m trying to laugh today- instead of cry (not easy!) because my mom liked when we laughed. And she LOVED when we paid attention to her (sound familiar?!) 25 Things I learned from my mother 1. Cover soles of new shoes with scratch-less bottoms. Scuffed shoes look terrible…

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The Young Murderer In The BMW

Like all of us, I’m sick over this lonely, angry, mixed up, and horribly sad dead 22 year old murderer in the BMW. I watched one of his youtube rants yesterday. Was appropriately nauseated by it. Then I watched it again. Was even more nauseated by it. What a revolting, miserable, entitled, evil, awful and…

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The Fat Girl Episode

The fat girl episode Oh Louis CK. You had me at season one. And your recent SNL monologue was even smarter, funnier and edgier than I’d even hoped it would be. But your depth of understanding of the inner workings of the fat girl- as portrayed in a recent Louie episode… I’m yours for good….

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44.

  Stupid cancer.  This is the 6th Mother’s Day without my mom. I’m 44 years old. And I feel my mom’s absence even more now than I did a few years ago. I think it’s because I’m in my mid life (or her 3/4 life!)  and feel so much like I remember her to be….

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