hi everyone.
omg. i am sorry that my "catty" post re: dr. douchebag has caused people to question whether i am handling my mother’s illness with pride and dignity… i am really doing the best i can- which includes moments of heightened sensitivity to other’s behavior/looks around me. i see people and i am sensitive to what i think is their essence… of course i don’t know whether the dr. was an ahole but his attitude took me there- well that coupled with my heightened sensitivity took me there.
hard to have an extra high level of grace and dignity right now when my mother has pancreatic cancer and subsequently it seems cancer cachexia… and i’ve been sitting in the hospital for the past 20 days. and it’s all i can do right now to not scream.
geez. a little levity…a little obnoxiousness, a little whatever gets me through the day…
and no, i don’t think i am the only one who has gone through this- g-d no! in fact if anything i feel more empathetic for those who been down this road before (this road that actually resembles a freakin’ emotional rollercoaster)… because i know how much it sucks…i mean it really sucks.
so there you have it. again…sorry to have offended even one of you.
xxx
jennifer
aim:whateverradio
facebook:jennifer koppelman hutt
Do whatever you need to do to get through. sending tons of positive energy your way. hang in there girl!!!!! xo
Sending positive vibes your way to help you cope during this difficult time. I agree with Straight Up – say/do whatever you have to, if it makes you feel better.This blog is your emotional outlet. Lighten up people!
Jennifer – don’t apologize for anything about the hospital setting with all that’s going on.
There’s a reason surgeons have reputations for having no bedside manner and for being jerks…a lot of them are. Patient care is not their thing — cut, remove and sew. A lot of them think they are Top Gun pilots — lots of swagger. Use them for what they’re good at. For fun, ask them to repeat things over and over again. It makes them squirm. Oh, and kind of get in their space and block the door when they’re trying to leave the room. Anything you do to take up more of their time drives them nuts. It’s a good little distraction if you want to get some of your yayas out. Rest if you can — get a sleep aid if possible so you can get try to get a few good nights of sleep.
Please do not worry about what these ahole commenters have to say. Some people are just so bored.
I second what “straight up” said.
Do what is right for Jennifer. xx
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and your family. My mother-in-law had pancreatic cancer in Oct. 2006. I know first hand what a horrible disease it is. Obviously, the people posting remarks about your comments have no clue what you are going through. You are absolutely handling your mother’s illness with pride and dignity!! Hang in there.
I think you should be able to do whatever you want to right now and post whatever you like on your blog as well and not have to apologize for any of it. It’s your life, your blog, your experience, your website and you should be able to do whatever helps you get through each day.
Please don’t apologize for anything you’re doing right now.
PLEASE stop apologizing. It’s appalling to me that anyone is questioning your freedom to express your opinion, especially at this time.
Jennifer, I’m just so sorry that you’re having to write “apologies” at such a difficult time. When I went through my version of this with my dad, it was the hughest bummer. I can’t imagine going through it as a public person and you really should not be concerned with what others think or say – take care of yourself and your family and be there with your mom. That’s all that matters. Really.
It just amazes me how stupid people can be. Jennifer, you write whatever you want! This is YOUR blog and it should contain whatever it is that is on your mind! They have no right to control what you blog about! You are a strong woman and what you are going through proves that! Tell these a-holes to shut the F up!
not offended by your comments, but consider this: don’t be misled…there is often an inverse relationship between medical competency and compassion. choose your friends for their charm, your care providers for their competence. the arrogance you perceive may be unacceptable or it may be the armor that allows the work to be done – it is tough to deal in life and death every day. for most of us, a bad day at work doesn’t mean someone died despite our best effort. i’ve been in your shoes and it it very tough. keep your positive outlook. don’t be distracted. maybe using a camera phone in the hospital isn’t the best outlet for all of the feelings you are understandably experiencing right now.
Jennifer, you can’t possibly be responding to “Vibes”, and their “caddy” remark, or, the other one who spelled KARMA with a C. I just love negative posters who can’t spell check!!! You can do, say, or post anything you feel on your blog if it makes you feel just a little better about your situation. You’re upset and if it helps to get these things off your chest here, you should do so. I’m sure you’re not sharing the negative with your mom. I do think maybe you shouldn’t let some doctor who you don’t know get you riled up. Everyone judges people, we’re human for pete’s sake!!!
All good thoughts towards your mom, you, and the rest of the family. Anyone who could post a criticism of you at this particular time is just cruel.
OMG that is so mild compared to what I would be saying if I was in the situation that you are in. The fact that you can even old it together enough to make fun of some A Hole looking guy is GREAT!!! I know sometimes meaning bitchy helps me get through the day!!! YOU ROCK!
Dearest Jennifer..finding dignity and grace is easier than finding a silver lining..its comes w/finding an inner peace…. once found…you won.t want to scream or it won.t be as difficult to hang onto that thread..its like floating in the ocean..all these horrible things will roll right over you and you.ll be one w/Bunny and all those around you..you love..been there ..seen it..done it..it works..!!!!!
When you are traveling down a road that sucks THAT bad, one has to find any distraction or humor you can – it’s self-preservation. So for those who point their fingers in Jennifer’s direction…..point the middle one back at yourself. And…. thank your lucky stars you have no idea what she is going through.
Jennifer, don’t waste the time and energy trying to appease these assholes. They are just nasty fucks that are so miserarble in their own lives, they have to suck someone else into it. I promise, NOT ONE of those nasty pussies have the balls to call in to the show and spout off. I know for a fact that at some point they will suffer in their lives and realize what pieces of shit that they are. Fuck them and may the burn in hell!!!
https://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/news/index.html Take a look. Your mother and your family have been dealt a crappy hand…but what matters most is how you play the cards. The choice is yours.
Jenny H just ignore them, they are all Dr. D-Bag Jr.’s. Anyone who defends Dr. D-bag has never been a ptatient of one.
Still thinking of you and your family and sending you good wishes to get you through this difficult time in your life. I think you should be able to blog whatever the heck you want without any shame or guilt. GO FOR IT! Get it off your chest! This is the PERFECT outlet for you! VENT VENT VENT – because in your situation it will really really help!
well, speaking your mind never hurt anyone. god for you for speaking up
I’m sure if you wanted to take some time off right now everyone would certainly understand. I’m sure you are going through hell. Stay strong.
My Mom had a heart valve transplant which was followed by numerous infections and complications. She spent over 4 months in a hospital, most of the time in a coma, my sisters and i rotated so she was with one of us 24 hours a day, 3 different times a Dr told me to call all my relatives because my mom only had hours left to live. This was for years ago and she is home and healthy. So pray and don’t lose hope. Good thoughts your way.
Hang in there kiddo. Do what’s best for you at this difficult time.
Dont appologize .. someone who has never been thru something like this is:
a. lucky
b. has NOT a clue what it is really like until it happens
**
I too have been thru a parent with cancer.. it is a shitty club to join… and i am sorry you are now a member too…
How you handle your mothers illness is up to you. Don’t let any of the a-hole who post make you feel bad. I work with Dr’s and guess what ??? Some of them do wonderful things and are great people……..other are douchebag’s and should be slapped. Jennifer, whatever allows you to take a breath during all of this do it and F everyone else!
Do what you NEED to do for you to get to through. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
XOXOXO
stacy
I haven’t read all the posts and comments but I think you need to give yourself a break. You are going through a horrible time and you should own it in whatever manner you want and/or need to. Sometimes we find peace in a silent moment with our Mom and sometimes we have to find peace by making fun of the closest stranger. I totally understand. I don’t suspect you are going to start hunting humans to vent your frustrations so I say just keep doing what you are doing, but be a little easier on yourself…if all else…just breath. Take care and I’m wishing your Mom well.
Jennifer- plllleasse don’t apologize for anything! Keep smiling- in any way you can….all the best to you and your family and millions of well wishes to Bunny!!!!
Jennifer, don’t apologize. So maybe you offended 1 a-hole person.. who cares. Stop worrying about what others think/feel about you. You are a wonderful person/daughter/wife and Mother. You don’t need to apologize for anything. How the hell does one handle a potentially fatal illness with pride and dignity? There is no right/wrong just keep on doing what you are doing. Really, no one is judging you.
Thank you for talking about all this so openly! My mom has terminal cancer and is still feeling good, but I know soon I will be where you are right now, and the whole thing is just one big suck-fest-a-palooza. I don’t know anyone else that has gone through this and it’s really helpful to hear you talk about it – to know that I’m not alone. So often unpleasant topics are swept under the rug and when we have feelings we think we are alone because it’s a not a topic that is discussed openly. I feel so badly for you – not “sorry for you” just sorry. I wish I could help you somehow. Lexapro sure is helping me! Lots of love to you and yours – from the OC. (hoping for a miracle recovery for Bunny!)
If you say he is an asshole, then he’s an asshole. Most surgeons I’ve known have a holier-than-thou attitude. They think they are god’s gift to doctordom. If you know his name, look up his public medical record and really see what he’s about.
Jennifer,
Hospitals attract social misfit doctors, lots of them, just like the legal profession, as you well know!
Take this situation into your own hands and move her if you think it would help. Call Calvary Hospital, even. You don’t necessarily have to move her there, but I used to volunteer there and these people know what you are thinking before you do, and they are the best at caring for cancer patients with difficult diagnoses. At least they can give you some guidance and professional support, which it appears you could desparately use at this point.
This too shall pass, you just have to get through it. All you can do is dedicate yourself to her and when you look back on it, you will realize it will have been the most important thing you have ever done in your life, and you won’t regret a minute of it. This experience will give your life an entirely new perspective and depth of meaning. You realize that the little stuff doesn’t count for anything, but how you handle this does, like nothing else you will ever do. The intense bond. It is really overwhelming to contemplate.
What could possibly be more important than caring for the person who brought you into the world and easing her pain and giving her peace?
Hang in there kiddo. It will work out.
BTW to Lil, I’m not sure how it was at your med school but compassion and competency are NOT inversely related(sorry I must have missed where you said you went).
You have NOTHING to apologize for….Screw everyone and worry ONLY about what you need to do to get through it…I have been through it and I have done a LOT worse, the more we act out the more we need to, and screw anyone who gets in the way. LOVE AND PRAYERS
Jennifer, you don’t need to apologize. You have every right to be upset and to do what you need to do to get through it. Gaining inner peace and being calm might work for some. It doesn’t have to work for you. You do what works for you. If people can’t understand that, they can go fuck themselves and listen to some other show on Sirius and read some other blog. Be you. Actual fans of the show appreciate you for who you are, not what you think others want you to be.
Jenifer, I cracked up at our Dr. discription. Who hasnot been in a situation where the doctor’s bedside manners were at the very least uncompasionate. To tell the truth, I thought I was the only one who noticed or cared.
It seems like every profession demands some sense of manners, with the excpetion of the medical community, where it is needed the most.
Oh, yes, big gerneralization, but when you are going through the worst moments inyour life, a little kindness or manners does not hurt-even from a doctor. Carry on- it was funny and many of us can relate to it.
Why are doctors imune from being laughed at.
Jennifer, not for one nano second did I find your previous post obnoxious. You ARE dealing with your mum’s illness with tremendous grace and dignity. Listeners who believe otherwise haven’t got a clue about much but those of us who have been, and are going, down this road get it. Big hugs to you…xoxo
Jennifer – do not let anyone tell you how you should feel or react. If people don’t see the humor then I think they are way too sensitive.
Jen,
one of the things we tell out patients is to let it out. Donot try to hold all the feelings inside.. If you want to yell then yell, cry, scream. beat the hell out of a pillow. Its a hard thing to cope with. You do what you need to feel better and stronger for your mother.
Sometimes sarcasm and “catty” humor are what it takes to get through the day. I have a black or what others may call “inappropriate” sense of humor sometimes. But laughter gets you through some tough times. Sending good thoughts your way.
I hope Bunny is feeling better. Previous post was not very nice. Why judge people when you do not know their situation? Just ends up being poisonous. You are better than that!
BITTER much?!
I just didn’t want you to get sued. Your thoughts are your own. Identifying someone as an ass who is not a public person could be problematic.
I held my nephew when he was new and watched his last breath when he died of leukemia 6 years ago this June. He was 46 left 3 kids and a wife confined to a wheelchair with MS. She died a few years later. His sons could not bear witness, nor his parents. In the end, there were only women, 2 aunts including me, his wife and his 16 year old daughter.
I don’t remember what happened yesterday, but, I remember vividly every encounter that I had during the 2 months that I visited him everyday in Sloane Kettering. Alexis would have had a field day with the entertainment in the recreation room. I prefer to remember the owner of the local pizza joint who noticed early on that my niece came into his restaurant a few days in a row and ordered quite a large take out order. He asked why she was there so often and from the night she confirmed to him that she was visiting her Dad in the hospital, the owner refused payment on her order, no matter how large. Because of the unusual, overwhelmingly sad circumstance of the kids facing losing both of their parents, the staff who had come to know the family well, had to have counselors come to them to help them get thru the ordeal. They agonized over the extreme level of treatment to extend my nephew’s life in the vain hope that my dying nephew’s wife could accept that her husband, best friend and exclusive care taker would not have the miracle she prayed for. There was a young exhausted priest who gave the last rites without ever looking at anyone. But, there were the nurses who stayed past their shift on the night of his passing. When I went to call my sister and tell her that her oldest child had just died, I saw the nurses crying into each other’s arms. I know, I know and I’m sorry. JO
Having kept vigils at hospitals for sick loved ones myself, I can relate to what you are going through. I myself found interesting ways to take my mind off the depressing situation I found myself in. One of my favorite things was what me and my sister in law called “fashion police”. We made fun of what other people wore, hair, make up etc. Not so they could hear us of course, but just something to fill our time and make us laugh. What made it even funnier is neither me nor my sister in law are fashionistas at all !!!!!!!!!!! Boring housewives who buy our clothes from target and wal mart. Hang in there Jen, don’t let the turkeys get you down.
Jennifer I really wish you weren’t going through this,your Mom is way to young for this crap…Fuck pancreatic cancer!!!.I wish I could take you away from this bad episode of your life and bunnies also and make everything good but I dont have that power.Keep laughing and stay true to yourself and help your mom stay comfortable and fuck everyone else…
Your nephew said “Fuck cancer”…well fuck everybody else too. You deserve to vent however you want right now.
Jennifer….do not worry so much about what other people think. If the Dr. is an a-hole he is an a-hole. You do what you have to do to get through this difficult time. Illnesses are very difficult and nobody knows what it is like unless they have been in your shoes. Hang in there…praying for you guys.
You will have plenty of time to be “dignified and graceful” now is the time to say and do whatever the hell gets you through.
You get a free pass right now to not even listen to anyone who says you should or shouldn’t.. .no one has the right to tell you how to deal with this…
Sending you lots of love and good thoughts. F all those people and their comments. I thought you’ve been doing pretty good considering. You have the right to your feelings.
You should not worry about anyone’s feelings but your family & loved ones. Focus on that. Who cares if someone is offended?
hI there hang in there. I know it is hard and dont applogize for what you are going through. It is all stress and if you think the doctor is an ass hole he probably is. most of those doctors have no idea what you are going throught and you just want to screem at them for bieng there. I Know. when Iost my mom to a heart attack I was so mad at people who still had a mom and where going around being happy. I hated it. You have everyright to have those feelings. take care of yourself and if you feel like screaming go outside and screem It will feel great/ Dont feel bad about how you feel just know that you god with you and lean on him
take care and lots of love
Daphne
you are in a difficult place right now doing the best you can. not everyone will be happy with things you write.
it’s all a distraction. focusing on what a possible a-hole this guy may or may not be. it’s probably just a way to vent some of your anger, frustration, and sadness about a situation that you have little to no control over.
my prayers are with you and your family.
You know what Jennifer, I feel for you and I’m a fan of the show but, boo fucking hoo to you. Grow up. Yes, your situation sux. It sux more for the patient and for all of those patients in that hospital. Am i supposed to be cool with you being a shithead to a man who spends his life around sickness and death? Am i supposed to only tell you when I agree? Am I to pussy foot around you because you’re currently in the throes of the same shit that we all have to deal with? We’re supposed to think it’s funny when you judge a man who doesn’t get his hair done or skin tightened for a living but spends every moment of every day trying to save people or at least better their lives? You excuse yourself WAY too much, Princess. You’re both grossly narcissistic. I’m getting turned off of listening/ reading the more I realize what whiny, spoiled, entitled, wastes you both are. God bless your poor mother. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
..and now that I read these other comments, I realize why you have any audience at all. This country is filled with morons. “Cut, remove, sew”, Jenny from Detroit? Really? Is that what they do? Effing half-wits. Honestly.
Jesus H., Jennifer…the blog is WHATEVER w/ Alexis and Jennifer…if someone can’t handle what you say they should stay the eff off.
Quit apologizing, you acted human. That’s it. I’m sure vibes, mariwhatever her face and all of the other negative ninnies in the previous post have all had catty moments….screw them. Say what you want. Quit apologizing. YOu didn’t mention the Dr.’s name or anything, simply said he appeared to be an ahole…
Hi Jennifer………….I don’t know you;only what I read in your blogs…..but from what I read you are a very down to earth person with a big heart.You are a good daughter,a good mother ,and a good wife.All that matters right now is exactly what you are doing.You are there with your mom loving her the way a daughter should love her mom.Don’t ever change.Take care and God bless you and your family.
You have a get-outta-jail-free-pass for being sarcastic. Don’t worry. People who understand will and do. Hang in there baby.
None of your posts have been out of line, please don’t think that. Your emotions must be so raw and close to the surface right now – act however you want. We are all behind you and support you! I worked in a hospital for 6 years (on the admin side) and surgeons are definitely a**holes, they all have a God complex and think they are miracle workers – it comes with the territory. Don’t give it second thought! Sending prayers to Bunny, you and the rest of the family.
Scream as loud as you want – and cry and hard as you want – and hug your mom and family as much as you want. Jennifer, for those who judge – they probably have not walked in your shoes. Stay close to your family and friends – it really helps. Thinking of you and your family at this most difficult and unbearable time in your lives.
Why are you reading/listening if you are so turned off? Last time I checked, neither the blog nor the show is mandatory entertainment. See ya never!
Eliza from NYC…WOW!
No one knows who this doctor is, not even you. Granted, we don’t know for a fact that he isn’t a kind and compassionate man. But, how do you know that he isn’t an arrogant man who gets his hair done and skin tightened??? It seems to me that you are the arrogant one looking down on everyone who posts a kind word to Jennifer. I also have to say that there are some things in your post that I do agree with a tiny bit, but, I’m not going on someone’s blog to insult them. That’s just so bitchy.
I really do think you are in a heightened awareness at this time and see things for what they are. It just goes with the territory. Hope things get better. Still praying for your mother.:)
Oh my God…Eliza from NYC…you sound so wound up…I bet your hair is pulled into a tight bun…lighten the F up!
Hang in there Jennifer!
OMG I live in Minnesota and yesterday I was at the US Open and I was buying a couple of shirts for “Johnny” in the merchandise area and there was this guy that was flailing around going back and forth trying to decide on these 2 shirts and his poor wife was waiting for him, then on one turn he bumps right into me, I turned AND IT WAS THE SAME ASS AS MR,DUCHEBAG only it had a belt on, SOOOO GROSSSS. But funny too! 🙂
There is not a whole lot that is dignified about this process…not what it does to your mother and not what is does to those who love her. You are doing the best you can and i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with those who can’t understand your need to vent. Apparently they can vent on you but you can’t on them….what the fuck ever! Do what you need to do to get through the day! Lots of love!
Reading thru the comments ..I think ..altho it might not seem so…that everyone is truely concerned with your frustration and heartache and in their own way are trying to offer whatever help they can to make this experience bearable…. have you be able to look back on this negative experience..way NEGATIVE ..in a positive way…otherwise why would anyone be on this site and taking the time to write WHATEVER …WE are all praying
I don’t quite understand the people that post mean messages on here like Eliza and I think….Do you not have anything better to do then go on here? Why would you even read this stuff if you are such a hater? Maybe you guys need to get a life and don’t be so jelous that NOBODY even knows you…you are a nobody! GET A LIFE!
Jen- i spent all of 24 hours in the hospital ths weekend and thought i was going totally nuts. you are a strong girl- hang in there. make fun of all the doctors you want. used to work for a surgeon- he was 100% asshole.
Apparently the twit ass that got your panties in a bunch and made you feel like you had to apologize for your statement doesn’t read Alexis’ side of the blog…
Get over it…Doctors CAN and some DO have God complexes…JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PROFESSION…YOU WILL FIND ASSHOLES.
Reader who was offended…GET OVER IT!!!!
Holier than though people…get off the site!
Use whatever coping mechanisms you need to. Going through something like this is the most horrible thing anyone can ever face. I watched my father wither away and die from cancer years ago, and the anger and hatred you feel towards everybody due to your helplessness are impossible to fathom for someonw who hasn’t been there.
Sometimes, lashing out at someone just happens, even if that person doesn;t deserve it.
To all the people who keep telling you to quit your whining and crying, I say find another blog to read and another show to listen to, it’s called Whatever for a reason…..
xoxoxoxoxo
Jennifer…PLEASE do not give the people who leave negative messages on your blog a second thought. What your family is enduring is horrible and you’re coping just fine. Even if you were being a jerk,which you’re not, anyone with any decency would cut you some slack.
never apoligize! no one is in your shoes. Lost my mom yrs ago to cancer.it does suck and you are making the best out of shitty situation. Maybe you could put a sign on the doc’s back?
To Eliza in NYC why don’t you take your bitterness and resentment some place else. Quit listening to the show you jealous B**ch!! You’re probably some fat slob sitting in your ghetto apt with nothing to do. Jennifer we love and support you!
If when your children are older and they say..” How did you get thru Bunny.s serious illness ?” and you say “I very carefully took photos of a Dr..I didn.t know..and posted them on my blog so EVERYONE could make fun of him” and you feel that is COOL..well..keep on keeping on !!!!!!
At times like this, you really need to stop giving a F what people think. There will be times when you want to scream at your family, laugh at inappropriate times or just give yourself a “normal” day here and there. I can’t imagine being offended by anything you say right now. To me, you’re doing a fabulous job at tending to your family, your job and hopefully yourself! Take care.
Whether it’s “acceptable” behavior to everyone is inconsequential. When my mother was in with PC I was exactly like that. I felt rage that I have not experienced since then and only went back to that dark place while hearing about your mom. I could never do what you do on the radio. I most admire you for that. It’s the first thing you think of when you get up in the morning and the last at bedtime. Not to mention the 1000 times during the day. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks.
Sending you and your mom hugs and more hugs. Do not worry for second about offending people. As far as I am concerned, you have a “get out of jail free” card and use it whenever you want.
Doctors “practice” medicine. They are doing the best with the knowledge they have. Some are better off not talking to anybody while others can be utterly charming. They are humans with their own stuff. They are not God…they are not perfect. That being said, blow off all of the steam you want. You have lots of support here. Lean on it, hold it to your bosom and let it feed your soul.
Sending you and your mom XXOO
Susan aka Chicken Mama
Jennifer, you need to stop apologizing to all the a holes that make you feel uncomfortable. Screw them and if they don’t like it they don’t need to read it. Do and say whatever you want!
Jen – STOP APOLOGIZING. You are missing the whole point of a blog – post your own feelings – and who cares if anyone agrees with you. BE YOURSELF. I think you need to turn off the “comments” section for a while and just POST/VENT – feel FREE to say what you want. Best wishes to your mom and family.
I think about your situation every day. I held back from posting because it does bring up sad memories for me. It really hits close to home. I lost my Mom 17 years ago, she was only 51 and had leukemia. In fact me and my brother never new she was sick till the very end. My Mom told my Dad to tell no one, not even family. I totally understand your attitude towards the doctors treating your Mom cause I went through this as well! Unfortunately since then it made my attitude towards doctors not good. You do not need to apologize, you are going through a real stressful time and you are entitled to your opinion. When my Mom was sick I think they treated her illness by being so laid back about itand not aggressive enough. Just from the stuff my Dad has told me, you start thinking what if they did that and how come they did not do whatever. I am glad you have so much support on here, besides your family and friends. I think it is a good thing, hugs to you and I pray for your Mom. Take care.
Whatever it takes to get through the day, thinking someone is an ahole to get your mind someplace else even for second is fine. No harm. no foul. I am praying for you and your mom.
PS He probably is an ahole!!
Jennifer.
I think you are going to have a nervous break down….. RELAX. BREATHE! I know it is hard to deal with but you have a lot of people supporting you.
please don’t apologize. Rant and rave and commiserate all you want here. Any humor you can find in the situation, great. By the way, he looks like a cocky asshat, just the way he is standing.
Do what you gotta/wanna do! Screw everyone for being high and mighty when you’re going through this and they’re not. F them in the A! sigh.
many warm thoughts to you and your family.
Jennifer–
You need not apologize to ANYONE. This is your blog and your experience. If people don’t like it, they should stop reading it. Still praying for you and your family.
Leigh in Baltimore
Jennifer, please don’t feel like you always have to apologize for the feelings you had in a moment. It’s a stressful time for you, you don’t need to explain to anyone. It’s YOUR BLOG! (I love that you took that sneaky pix!) Too funny!
Sending many good thoughts to you and your Mom.
Eliza from NYC. Have the balls and call the show. We all would love tho hear you.
Eliza from NYC – Dear, go chase yourself.
Respectfully yours — moronic effing half-wit.
You do whatever helps! My dad died 12 years ago after 3 months in the hospital. We laughed at inappropriate things, got mad for no reason at all, tolerated some doctors and not others. Get out of there when you can. Go to a mindless movie and laugh. You are in my thoughts!
jen, believe me when I tell you but this is THE WORST of this whole thing. It does not get any worse if that helps you at all. She is very very sick so you take all the time you need from the show to be with her and for one minute do not feel guilty. When this is over, you will regret not spending as much time as you possibly could. You do however, need to make sure you do things for you. Get mani/pedi’s, a massage, cry, laugh, be goofy, etc. Let ALL the emotions out. Only idiots don’t understand and who cares about them anyway? I feel so effing bad for you. This is such a horrible ordeal to go thru, harder for you then the patient since they have hospital drugs…. and frankly, I have not met a doctor I honestly can say I respect. There is an ego thing about them I don’t like. You do not need to apologize for anything at all while going thru this. It is the hardest thing to go thru. Hard for the family, extended family, friends, etc as there is nothing you can do to help. How you have been doing the show (unless it’s an escape) is beyond me. I used to drive home and lay on the floor with my feet up on the wall and stare. My prayers are with you jen.
Jennifer, I can’t understand why anyone would make a negative comment about what you blog. They must be idiots. You are going through a trying time right now and any form of outlet is good. Also, you are such a good hearted person. Keeping venting….we are hear to support and listen to you.
Faith and strengh coming your way.
Dearest Jennifer,
There is no right or wrong way to go through what you’re experiencing with your Mom. Be good and gentle with yourself.
Love and prayers,
Jill
why don’t you clean a shotgun and accidentally fall on the trigger with your face on the barrell? That would be awesome you fucking bitch.
Jennifer, I haven’t read your blogs but i do listen as often as I can. Know that you and Alexis provide terrific entertainment and fun for your listeners I am praying (not that it will count from me) that you and your family will be able to find your way through a difficult time. Know you are a good daughter to your mother which will provide her a tremendous amount of peace and happiness at this time Try to find a little laughter each day for yourself. Love susan k
I think only someone who has never spent a long period of time in a hospital with a very sick love one could possibly think a little laughter is offensive. The humor is what gets you through. Believe me there is enough sadness to last a lifetime. Love to Bunny and keep smiling. It helps.
Well, said, Eliza from NYC! Being in this situation does not give you carte blanche to act like a bratty, over-privileged, snotty teenager. I’ve been through this and worse, and didn’t find that I had to be disrespectful or mean to anyone to take my mind off of my problems. I dealt with them as an adult. You should be so lucky that you are able to sit with your mother at this time, there are many out there who have to work to support their families and can’t be with their loved ones as they suffer. Rather than picking random targets why not spend the time trying to help your mom cope. Talk to her her, even if she is asleep. Tell her what she means to you. I think you will feel alot better about your situation than when attacking random targets. (I mean, has this doctor done anything to YOU or your MOTHER?)
I say screw grace and dignity, and take your laughs where you can get them!
You’re one scary, ugly insect Eliza. Somebody needs to stomp on you.
You owe no apology. Bless your heart…I feel so awful for what you are going through..still hoping your mom gets to go home. Screw the others…I will never understand how people can be mean during this time in your life..yes some things should be over looked…and your comments about that particular Dr. should have been..f@ck them all…vent all you want..any way you want…
Jenn,
Don’t worry, he probably DOES deserve it…. heehee.
I hope Bunny gets better soon, and try not to be too hard on your sweet self.
A BIG THANK YOU TO PAULIE FOR HIS COMMENTS….I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF….SO TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE WHO ARE GETTING ON JENNIFER’S CASE, SEE PAULIES COMMENTS…AS I THINK THAT SUM’S IT UP FOR ALL OF US WHO CARE.
When you refer to God in your blog, why block out the “o”? He’s who you should be turning to right now.
You sick ef’n nut. Pathetic excuse for a human being. Heartless, spinless piece of sh!t. What goes around comes around..karma sucks..whatch your back azzhole.
Geez. Please DO NOT APOLOGIZE for trying to wrap your brain about this experience. I didn’t even think twice about your post other than you are trying your best to cope with an untenable situation. “F”-em if they can take a joke. However you cope — do what you gotta do! And please delete the post prior to mine — talk about bad karma. J.
Jennifer, don’t have time right now to read all of the comments, but scanning down quickly, all I can say is I agree with you totally and you are a sweet, loving person. That’s all. Eff the idiots and see the support.
Jennifer;
I went through months and months of this with my mother and you have every right to behave any way that will help you get through this terrible time. It WAS the worse time of my life. I understand COMPLETELY. If someone doesn’t then it’s because they haven’t been down that road yet.
God Bless your mother and family!
Jennifer, if some harmless fun is what it takes to get through this time go for it. Do the show on days it helps YOU to make it through the day. If you need the day off to spend time at the hospital do it. Whatever you do don’t let someone else tell you what is the dignified respone to this situation. My mother had lung cancer about 16 years ago and I remember the people who helped the most were the people who let me do what I needed to do, with no judgements. My prayers are with you and your family.
I haven’t been able to listen to the show in a long time. So I just found out about your mom’s illness. I cried in the car. It just brought back bad memories from when my father-in-law was in and out of the hospital for months with colon cancer. We felt like no one was doing enough to help him and felt so helpless and when they told us it had spread and there was nothing they could do…it was devastating.
We went through all sorts of anger and denial and whatever phases you go through.
Seal with it the way you need to. Whether you need to escape and go to work or whatever. No one can tell you how you should handle this.
Eliza and Terri are a couple of asses. They don’t deserve an apology from you. And you don’t have to give one.
Just take care of yourself. *hugs*
My sweet Jen
I called in a few weeks ago to tell you that I went through a very similar situation with my mom (she passed) this past year. I would not have made it without PROZAC. Pleez, I know you told me you have your ‘feelers’ out finding you the right Doc. I am begging you.. get on meds for this stage in your life. I think about you. Fuck all the mean bloggers. Fuck em all!!! You are doing great but it can get easier….
Hang tough.
I was in the hospital for nearly a month, and my favorite activities were:
– crushing on my doctor
– gossiping with nurses about obnoxious patients
– gossiping with patients about obnoxious staff
– wondering if anyone was gossiping about how obnoxious I am
It’s called making the best of a bad situation, all in the name of good, harmless fun.
Damm for such a funny, goofy show some of your listeners are such bitter mother fuckers. Even to take the time to go to your blog and kick ya while your down really says something about them. I hope there as ashamed of themselves,as thier mothers are of them.
jennifer,,,you go girl! go with whatever helps you make it through the day. try not to worry about those insensitive people who think they need to tell you how to act while your mother is very ill. what do they know?? much love to ya and i hope everyone in your family finds comfort very soon.
Everyone who is wishing that she kill herself, or get destroyed or that she fuck herself – – – my god people. Calm down. She didn’t say anything so bad. The girls CAN be kind of self centered at times, and that’s perfectly fine – we all can be. Not a big deal. And the ones wishing Eliza death, that’s worse than what she said, she didn’t wish anyone any harm. Damn people.
to all you motherfuckers dogging out someone who is watching their mother suffer,where exactly is Jennifer being mean? Just because she made a passing comment about a dickhead? How many of you rednecks drive in traffic and cuss the guy that cut you off when he never saw you and didn’t do it on purpose? That’s right you fucking idiots, you’ve all done similar things so shut the fuck up. And yes, we all deal with family sickness (my dad died when I was 17) but it’s for no one to say how we should do it. It’s pretty cruel to take a cheap shot at someone while they’re going through something this serious. But that just proves what kind of things you are, I can’t say humans because humans aren’t even that sick you fucking losers. I hope everyone of you go through double what she’s facing right now, if you’ve already been through it, I hope it comes back to you and then I hope YOU have the guts to talk about it so we can tell you to grow the fuck up – and to all the people who have sent nice, caring posts, thank you for showing the trash how real people treat each other.
Hey Jennifer – post some more pictures of the assholes at that hospital and we’ll have Christmas cards made from them and send it to their families with the eyes punched out.
I just want you to know how much you aways say exactly what I’m thinking. That’s why I love you. I’ve had that same experience when I spent time at the hospital with my beoved father. I couldn’t believe that these medical professionals could behave like that. Just arrogant assholes, treating staff poorly, blantantly ignoring patients (and their families) Not all of them, of course, but it was the ultimate insult when someone you love so much is lying there in pain.
I love that you took his picture and anyone that would call you out regarding this, unfortunately, belongs in the same category as Dr. Asshole.
Never apologize for being yourself, sweetheart. You truly rock. And much love to your mother.
Jennifer, I am witty and sarcastic. When my Mom was ill and in and out of hospital, I was the only one who would try to lighten the mood. I got so many dirty looks (from both my family and people who didn’t know me). However, I believe that laughter is the best medicine, and it meant that my Mom spent the rest of her life laughing instead of sitting in her hospital bed all somber. Live, love, laugh.
I love you and think you are awesome. Please ignore the a-holes that question or criticize a thing that you are doing. Please take lots of funny photos and make fun of as many people as you want. I think it is great. I would be photo copying my a-hole at the nurses station if I were in your shoes. Send lots of pics please!
Hey Sweetie,
I’ve been through it too with my Mom and you just do what you have to do. Your job right now is to be the best daughter possible…and I believe that that is what you’re doing. When I went through it I felt like I was in “survival mode.” You learn to find more resources than ever. Believe it or not you’re doing a great job.
I remember feeling like I was on a rollercoaster of emotion most of the time. I hated it and I too would really try to find moments when I could justfind something to laugh about because I knew that soon enough I was going to be crying all over again anyway.
I wish I had the resources you do when my mom was sick. I ended up gaining alot of weight during the process. See if you can use this as a way to improve your relationship with food. Such a “big event” helps to make it so evident that cookies don’t solve problems at all.
I’m sending lots of love to you and yours and know that you are in my thoughts.
debs – Deborah Alperin
maggie is obviously not jewish. well neither am i but i took a judaic studies class in college so i can still let you know why jennifer writes g-d. the name of god is treated very seriously in the jewish religion so much so that his actual name in hebrew is rarely spoken and is sometimes referred to as the “unutterable name”. i don’t think it is prohibted completely to write the english word god, but some write g-d because it is prohibited from erasing or defacing the name of god…so not writing the letter o allows them to write and type it without fear of it later being erased or defaced by someone else. so by writing G-D it actually takes the commandment of though shalt not take the lords name in vain a lot more serious than run of the mill christians. knowledge is power people, educate yourselves….
Your writings let you vent your feelings from your broken heart. All things and everybody are frustrating and annoying when one must deal with this illness so closely. Do not stop letting it out your feelings and thoughts.
When I heard how upset you were on the show yesterday it angered me that so-called “fans” would treat you this way in your time of crisis. I can only imagine how you feel, but when I do go through this is will think of you and I thank you for sharing. Your true fans love and support you and understand that you can’t be Ms. Perfect during this time and we would not want you to be. Be yourself and I look forward to listening to you every evening on my way home from work. You go girl and don’t let others get you down. Love ya!
Oh I haven’t listened to the show in weeks but I am SO SORRY to hear about your mom. So very sorry.
You know, Steve Jobs of Apple had pancreatic cancer like in 2005 and he’s still going strong. Of course I know nothing of your mom’s situation, but I just wanted to remind you of that.
…that doctor looks like a putz.
Jennifer –
F them. You owe no one an apology – people just want to put others on the defensive. I cannot imagine what you & your family are going through right now – you are in my thoughts. One of my good friends went through it with her dad & I know it is not an easy road… sometimes you need a little catty to get you through the day!
Best wishes & thanks for the daily dose of entertainment 🙂
People are so fucking stupid. You do whatever ever it is you need to do. NO ONE can judge you. How the hell is anyone expected to handle a situation such as this? So they can all piss off as far as I am concerned. Keep your head up, my dear. We’ve got your back.
Just want you to know I am thinking of you more often than you would imagine. I haven’t had time to call in to the show (found the discussion yesterday regarding killing people very interesting – true guilt vs. fear of detection) because of stupid stuff like having to get a new toilet installed and a trip to the vet (in addition to working). Yep. All that big stuff. But you and your family are on my mind so many times during the day.
Can I make you laugh, weird Jennifer? My parents suggested I might want one of the “comfort” toilets that are higher seated. I said, “What, and have my feet dangle while I’m sitting there?” A 5′ 2″ munchkin doesn’t like higher toilet seats. Big feet, little legs. Oh, well.
To Eliza… Get off this blog forever!!!! Jennifer, love and support
What test tube error in what Frankenstinian lab resulted in the existence of “Eliza from NYC”??? Jeez, what a creep!
I’m surprised at myself. I have only recently begun to read the Whatever Girls’ blogs, having stumbled upon them through Martha’s, yet every comment I have made has been in response to the negativity of some hater’s post! I suppose some navel-gazing of my own is in order as I am not an angry person, really. But some of the inane comments on this and Alexis’ blog have incited rage in me such as I have not experienced in a long time.
Having recently (last weekend) scattered the ashes of my 54 year old best friend in the sea, after having shared her four-year battle with several cancers, and having held her daughter for hours –days– as she wept, may have contributed to this rage, granted. Having buried a parent, having spent nearly a year with my brother in a neuro-ICU, the smell of Hibiclens and Betadine permanently imprinted on my olfactory memory, having worked in ERs and ORs for more than 25 years, I feel qualified to speak. Having held the hands of too many children (and parents) of the ill and dying I know that sometimes behavior that cannot be explained –inappropriate laughter, incessant talking, refusal of nourishment, alcohol consumption– is common, even expected.
Having also worked in a Psych unit or two I cannot help wondering if Eliza doesn’t belong in one! Even IF what she says had merit (it doesn’t) and even IF this doctor’s life having been “spent around sickness and death” should somehow diminish Jennifer’s family’s ordeal (it can’t) you JUST DON’T say things like that to someone in that kind of pain!
It really was a very benign act and hurt nobody, the photo is of his BACK for chrissakes! My very proper father may turn in his grave at my next statement, as he taught me very early that it is impolite to point out another’s rudeness. In Eliza from NYC’s case, however, I bet even HE would allow an exception to that unwritten rule of decency! Waste? YOU Eliza, are a waste of skin, assuming you have skin, you certainly have no heart. YOU are “grossly” inappropriate!
Peace, Jennifer. And no apologies are in order.
Peace Bunny. And happy trails…
And aloha!
When my brother was in ICU I remember a boy coming into the unit with a bullet in his brain. He was brain-dead. When his sister arrived and their mother told her, she burst into tears and screamed. Her mother SHUSHED HER, telling her “Not in front of these people…” and led her into a stairwell when all she wanted was to see her brother! I couldn’t effing believe it! All of us were there because a loved one was in the ICU and this prim and proper mother was worried about “appropriate behavior”!?
What, exactly, IS appropriate behavior when one has just been kicked in the gut and had her heart ripped out of her?