it is a strange feeling leading up to my 39th birthday knowing my mom won’t be calling me that day.
i’ll get through it, and yes, i know i am lucky and blessed that i have family and friends who love me and want me to have a good day inspite of the loss.
but here’s the thing…
i really want to hear my mom’s voice say "jenn… happy birthday honey."
i’m pathetic right? (don’t answer that!)
i know the big cake bake off between alexis and johnny iuzzini on friday will be fun. and saturday night there will be a birthday dinner. and i’m sure i will get gifts and smile and laugh and have fun and feel sad and cry and live.
exactly as my mom would want me to. gotta have/celebrate my birthday because, really, what’s the alternative?!
and if you want to see some beautiful pictures of my mom from when she was young, check out the photos on my facebook page (my sister has been scanning pictures and tagging the ones with my mom).
and if you don’t have facebook, here is one of my mom and my sister, stacy from 1968. (i was born 1970)
xxx
jennifer
aim: whateverradio
facebook: jennifer koppelman hutt
WOW your mom was Georgeous!!!!!
Your mother was absolutely drop dead gorgeous!!!!…reminds me of Holly Go Litely in Breakfast at Tiffanys!
Love the picture — the eyelashes, the Liza with a Z hairstyle, the dress and Stacy’s hairbow are perfection. Totally fierce.
But I like a photo that you posted in the gallery section of blog even better. It’s your mom taking you to school. It’s a perfect mom/child moment.
Your mother was beautiful!
How breathtakingly beautiful. Timeless…looks like a classy lady.
Your mom was beautiful. You have her smile.
ohhh she’s so glamorous here. i love these old photos from the 60s etc. i have several of my mom as well all glammed up and looking faaaaabulous and i love them.
i see you in her face….
i know what you’re saying… but as she always is,and always will be, she will be right there with you on your bday, of all days, celebrating every moment.
you are not pathetic!
1) No, you are not pathetic at all, these are hard times and you just have to feel how you feel (anyone who is gonna disagree with me… I friggin’ dare you) I just don’t get haters that post, don’t read the blog!
2) Your mom is ljust so ovely
Just curious, but who do you think you look like more? Your mom or dad?
Bunny was HOT! Her eyes are just beautiful.
Jennifer,
Please stop apologizing and knocking yourself down because you miss your mom. You are grieving and it’s healthy, appropriate, and understandable. Anyone that tells you otherwise is either an ass or can’t relate to having a wonderful relationship with their parent(s). If I lost my mom…yikes, let’s just say nothing good would come of it. Just breathe and know that one day life will get easier.
The picture of your mom is wonderful.
it is absolutely not pathetic
very beautiful Mother!
I am 60 yo, Jennifer. My mama passed away 11 years ago…and I still miss her so very, very much! Mothers/Daughters have a special bond…sometimes they don’t know it till too late…
Your mama is beautiful, as are you! I love reading your posts.
Brenda
What a classic photo, & your Mom is stunning. Did she ever model? The photo reminds me of Slim Aaron’s work from the 1960’s-70’s. I enjoyed when your Mom would call in, & liven up the show. Happy early Birthday. You’re one of those people who just gets better every year. Have a great time, follow your path of heart & do what makes you happy!
Stunning!
So sorry for your loss, Jennifer. I’ve just started coming to this site – I enjoy your banter with Alexis – I’m endeared to you even more with this post. Though I haven’t lost a parent, I understand your longing and sense of loss. Carry her memory with pride, and enjoy your journey.
Can I just say… you look FANTASTIC for 39! Happy Bday!
She (and your sister) looked gorgeous! You’re doing great Jennifer, I wish you peace. It must be very hard!
1. I can’t believe you’re 38.
2. Do you have your mother’s eyes? Aside from the awesome 60’s eye makeup (that doesn’t take away from how beautiful your mom was), it kind of looks like that to me.
Jennifer is it pathetic for a 50 year old man to be reading your blog and crying at his desk? Hmmm, dont answer that either…your mother is beautiful…and you know what, I wish I had the type of relationship with my parents and sister and brother that you have…so go ahead and keep telling us what you feel.
Absolutely beautiful! You are not pathetic in the least bit. Love the haircut and it would look GREAT on you.
very very pretty . . . beyond words
She’s breathtaking….
She reminds me of the actress on “Dirty Sexy Money” the lawyer’s wife….i forget her name..crap!
Anyway,
Jennifer: I hope you can laugh and have a wonderful time at your birthday dinner…there will be plenty of time after to cry and feel pain of her not being here to call and wish you a happy birthday….. but you know in your heart that your mother wants you to have a good time and celebrate your life. 🙁
Keep blogging…don’t let the bastards that come here to be mean get you down.
Your Mom was gorgeous! Love love love her haircut and how chic is that top (and perfect teeth to boot)? You are lucky to have great photo’s and lovely memories. She probably would not want to be the cause of any sadness in your life so try to use that to get through the day. Hang in there.
GLAM!
Wow look at Ms. Bunny. She looks like a movie star.
remember through all your sadness that like any of us moms your mom I’m sure thought you were one of the best things she ever did and like any mom she wouldn’t want you to have so much sadness.My daughter is 19 and if I died today I would want my daughter to remember a piece of me is always in her and that bright beautiful woman she had become is something I was so proud of and how heartbroken I would be to know she was so sad and hurt and if there was a way I could look down on her I would see a happy loving woman who continued daily to make her mom proud and who really lived cause this is all the time we have.
you’re not at all pathetic. my mom used to wake me (in person or on the phone) singing ‘happy birthday’ – and i’ve missed that every year for 9 years now. you’ll always have a void, but it does get easier. big hugs!
For lack of a better term, Jennifer, your mom was “HOT.” Movie star material. Love the eye makeup!!!
Your mom was beautiful. Reminds me of Audrey Hepburn. On your birthday, don’t feel bad if you shed a tear or two, it’s ok. Go have fun with your family and friends, and have a special toast to your mom. Have a Happy Birthday Jennifer.
Bunny is BEAUTIFUL! She just remained beautiful throughout her whole life!
I’m so sorry Jen. You got robbed. 🙁
Jen,
What beautiful picture. Thanks for sharing. Happy Birthday!!
I remember when my father died, you go through all this pain. The funeral, the company, the getting used to his not being there, the crying, the adjustments and when you have gone through alllllll this shitty stuff……..
he is STILL gone. Death is so effin’ final.
(it should be enough just to endure the pain, you should not have to deal with the loss also. how is that for irrational?)
It is now 9 years and i miss him so much but I do not feel the pain all the time. In fact it is not painful, it is ache-ful.
all the best birthday wishes to you… you really make the show!!
STUNNING!
Ah, birthdays after your parent dies are ROUGH. It’s been 8 birthdays of mine since my dad died and I still want to hear his voice on my phone saying “happy birthday baby”. I’m sorry.
Your mama was a beauty.
jww
Your mom was beautiful!and from reading your posts she was beautiful from within as well as visually lovely.And it sounds like you have a wonderful caring family as a whole.I wish I had that type of relationship with my parents and siblings….u r so blessed u can and r able to remember ur mom in such a beautiful way.U too r beautiful jennifer….i don’t know u in person but thru ur blog u come thru like a person with a good heart and good soul and guess what?????That’s a wonderful thing to b……..take care & God Bless!
jennifer your mommy was beautiful my favorite photo is the one of her sitting on the couch talking on the phone! i love her hair!
I bet your mom had a lot of really cool hats! Very neat picture!! Thanks for sharing!
Your mom is gorgeous!
Please don’t apologize for grieving for her. It’s your first birthday without her. You’re not pathetic. You’re sad. And it’s ok to be sad. She’s your mom and she’s gone and you miss her. There is not one thing wrong with that. (((hugs)))
Mom was beautiful! What a nice tribute to her. <3 XO, Erica
I do not say was I say is..her beauty lives on in her children…
and happy Birthday jennifer..
Linda
Alexis hates me…
wow! look at that hair and makeup, gorgeous!
That is such a beautiful picture, I remember that hair style so well.
Your feelings are shared by many,your being able to express it helps, you know I believe she is with you.
Your pain and hurt are real. There are so many times that
33 years later, I still wish mine could be here to share special times and moments, we’re all here to help and listen.
Feb. is a big birthday month for us, my hubbys is today and the 24 is our daughters, hubby also has a brother with one on the 14th, now if we just lived closer we could do a party mid month to celebrate the 3. Daughter was suppose to have her birthday on the 14th, but she didn’t want to share, wanted her own day, so waited 10 days to “show up” , even then she had to be “coaxed”, now she uses the whole month as a birthday month.
Connie
A beautiful photo to cherish forever, Jennifer. Your sister is too cute! Your mother was beautiful….
You are so not pathetic. You love your mom a LOT, and you are lucky you had such a great relationship with her. I wish I had that with mine.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
xo,
Sabrina
Your mom was freakin’ gorgeous. Look at that skin, those eyes. Man. I am so sorry for your loss.
Chin up, your Mom was beautiful! Love the photos! Thanks for sharing.
Happy Birthday Jennifer! You are Great , Your feelings are yours to have. Your memories of your mom will always be in your heart. Every Christmas dinner I want to call my Grandmother Harriet and ask her for a special recipes or cooking advise ,but she’s on the other side now. She used to all ways help me with recipes. So I understand your wanting to talk to your mom and hear say Happy Birthday on an important day like that. Cheers to you. She is with you . You know that:) And she always will be.
Your Mom was a beautiful woman.
From your words, it seems like she was even more beautiful internally. :]
You are SOOOO not pathetic. YOU are normal!!!
happy birthday jennifer. mine is the 28th enjoy it. BTW I was in the Rockville center area sunday. grabbed a bite at Paradiso Pizza. After we took homne $45 worth of bagels and cookies (big black and whites etc.) to lug to Boston. We were at my uncles birthday at the Riverway on Willis ave. Great food. My wife, daughter and son in law all remembered what it was like when we lived in NY LI. Umm good food just isn’t the same up here. The north end is OK but….and bagels forget about it. NYC the second ave deli, Katz’s and more ….The old French Romainian Resterant …oh well Legal seafood here is good….You know what I mean about LI and NY food….
Precious, just precious.
Happy birthday- try to enjoy and I’m sure your beautiful Mom is smiling down on you and sending you good energy. I think it’s really admirable that you are willing and able to express your feelings and share your grief. You are a gem.
Your mom was BEAUTIFUL!!!! And very classy.
Wow! Your mom is beautiful!!!!
Jennifer,
You have your mother’s beautiful smile.
Have a wonderful birthday, Jennifer. Beautiful pictures to treasure. 60’s mom pictures are the best. I have some of my mom and they were and always be so beautiful.
Your Mom was ahead of her time and very classy. Beautiful photo, thank you for sharing. Stacy is cute with her little pinky up, adorable! Happy Birthday Jennifer!!
Bunny’s smoking HOTTTT!!!!!!!
Your mow was beautiful with expressive eyes.
PS: you share B’day with my husband..he will be 44. Going to bake special cake for him tonight, before he lands from DC.
What a lovely mother. She obviously adored you and was so proud of you. I lost my mother about 20 years ago when I was about your age and was devasted. Did grief counseling which was very helpful (group). I think of her constantly and she is always with me and always will be. Count your lucky stars that you had a mother like her.
I saw your mom on Stacy’s facebook – she was STUNNING!!!
And you were ADORABLE as the little kid, too!!!
Hang in there – it all gets easier after the “first” everything. You’ve made it halfway, and through more than half of the firsts!!
Your mother is a knockout! You do have her smile. I envy your close relationship with your family-cherish it, girl. I hope blogging helps you deal with the loss.
I’m new to the website and your hilarious show. The first time I saw it I thought, OMG does Martha know they are doing this? Then I saw the beginning of a show and I realized that she was the producer! Duh. Keep up the great work. Your mom must be very proud of you!
Jenn darling,
we never tell our age after 29. My grand mother was 29 until she passed away. She celebrated her 40 anniversery of her 29th birthday.
Your mother is beautiful. You look like her,
You are not pathetic.
Bunny was movie star gorgeous — in an Audrey Hepburn sort of way. A classic beauty.
She’ll be at your party.
You’ll feel, hear, see…something that will tell you…”Jenn… happy birthday honey.”
Happy Birthday, Jennifer.
That is such an amazing picture!
that is SUCH 60’s hair!!!
I worked in an office where it seemed everytime you turned around there was a birthday cake. I stopped eating cake because well in an office of thirty people or so you get my point. Anyway I realize in the depths of a gloomy winter you want a bright spot too bad that cheap radio station doesn’t send the two of you some place fun to broadcast from such a furniture store where martha’s line of furniture is on display and the store gets publicity and stuff and maybe they will give you a chair or a night stand. Well that sounds like fun to me or how about an art museum r you go there and then you can talk about it the good the bad and the ugly Oh Happy Birthday this bake off is a step for a girl a giant leap for a radio station
Jen, First off your mother is beautiful.Secondly I was born in 1968 myself,a great year.Lastly I have lost a few people very close in my life and any holiday,birthday or personal event is always going to be hard when that person you loved isn’t there to share it with you.I know you have probably heard this before but you have to remember the good times you had together and how you felt when you were together.Everyone tells me the same thing and I used to hate to hear it,but now understand why I should take that advice.Just know you’re not alone and have a great Birthday.Pat.
Happy Birthday, Jennifer. Warmest wishes from Santa Barbara! Your Mom is stunning.
wow, your mom’s a hottie. you look just like her.
I wanna see the cakes…
What does “mercless” mean? As in, “mercless animals”.
Jenn,
I echo the other voices in saying you are NOT pathetic. My mom has been gone almost 5 years and I still wish I could call her just to hear her voice. I wish you a wonderful birthday filled with love and memories of your mom. She was a beautiful person both inside and outside. Part of her is with you everyday and I know you will feel her with you as you move through life. Happy Birthday!
Thanks for posting your mom’s pic. Her beautiful eyes look a lot like yours!
xkb
Your mother is stunning and beautiful.!
Gosh, Jennifer- Your Mom was so lovely. I see your smile in hers. I’m sorry for your loss and how hard this birthday must be without her. I can’t imagine at this point in my life because I still have my Mom. Take care of you!
PS The radio show has been so good lately – just wanted you to know. Your chemistry with Alexis has been spot on. I’ve been laughing pretty hard at the two of you! Thank you!
Happy Birthday Jennifer!
thinking about you today.. hoping it’s all fabulous and wonderful and that your dinner tonight is… brilliant! 🙂
did you take all 3 cakes home?? i would love to just eat the roses alexis made – my fave part of bday cake (mine is in 3 weeks! :))
love and light, diana
OMG, VERY SAD WITH TEARS IN MY EYES, AND A LUMP IN MY HEART FOR U, I WAS RAISED WITH A MOM WHO ALWAYS TOLD ME SHE WOULDN’T BE THERE FOR ME ONE DAY, SO I KNOW HOW U MUST FEEL. I FEEL SO BAD FOR THOSE WHO LOST THEIR PARENTS SO YOUNG, AND WORSE FOR THOSE WHO OUT LIVE THEIR CHILDREN. LIFE IS SHORT AND YOU MUST CHERISH EVERY WAKING BREATH, TTYS
“Happy Birthday”
She was beautiful!
Beautiful photo of your mom! You look so much like her!!
Wow Jennifer! Thanks for sharing the picture of your mom. She is beyond pretty. Happy birthday! My son is your same age born on Feb. 10th. I feel for you and your grief. Thanks for sharing how you feel so many of us know how you feel and go through similar feelings in our lives.
I never miss your Whatever Radio Show, I love, love, love it.
Keep being yourself!
My mother died when she was 49 and I was 24. Now I’m 66 and very few days go by that I don’t think of her. Life goes on and many wonderful things happen, but there is always a little sadness that never goes away. Enjoy your family every day.
I LOVE your TV show–I laugh out loud and enjoy both you and Alexis so much. This is the first time I have “blogged”–as I said, I am 66 and this is not in my comfort zone. Just wanted to let you know how much your show is enjoyed. Thanks!