i’m an obsessive worrier. always have been.
i worry about what matters: safety and well being of my family and others i love, psychopaths who kill kids (and grownups!), our country’s debt, the environment, my career, and just about every other problem i may not be able to fix nor anticipate.
i worry about what doesn’t really matter: gossip, what i’ll wear to wherever, how i’ll fit in all i have to do in a day, when someone may or may not reply to an email or text(which could render me a nervous wreck!), whether someone likes me or doesn’t and when i’ll finally get to hang with gayle king or seth meyers.
and i obsessively worry about my weight, which is not only justified… it is essential.
it isn’t JUST because i am extremely self indulgent (though admittedly sometimes i am!) rather it is because i know that if i do not work my program (whatever program it is that day/that week/that meal/that month) then i will become fat again. the odds are against me. and darn it i will fight those odds.
because if i get fat again, i think i will die.
no, not hyperbole. truth. i don’t think i could survive the mental anguish i would feel were i to gain back all that i lost (which is ironic because that loss caused me to gain so much!!) frankly, even gaining back enough that would put me into the category of overweight (which is an improvement from the obese that i was) would cause serious implications to my emotional state (not to mention physical state).
by the grace of something (gd, poptarts, i dont know what) i feel like i have a second chance at living my life fully.
because not being fat anymore has saved my life. physically and mentally. and i am not sure in what order.
i don’t think i can properly convey with words how less afraid of people i am now, knowing that though they can call me fat, technically i am not fat. (btw, i am far from bikini bodied as well and would rather do just about anything than have to be naked in front of anyone but my husband- who by the way is super terrific and like all husbands super obnoxious and irritating- oh wait…so am i!)
so i write down my food each night. my imperfect intake. and share it in the daily food blog section of my site.
and i answer questions and talk while being on the treadmill (tales from the treadmill) because i will get on it/stay on it longer knowing at least one person may be entertained by it or motivated to get on his/her treadmill too.
and maybe my letting people look at what i do to keep myself going will help someone else who feels stuck.
i want to help.
i cannot control the world around me. i cannot control how anyone else behaves or chooses to respond to what i share. i cannot control people professionally, personally, globally. i can only control what i do. and who i am. and i choose to share my bumps along the way.
and for those (here’s my preemptive defensive moment) who think too much food/body/weight talk is annoying…
don’t hang out with me… almost every interaction i have with people involves someone’s mentioning something about their food/weight/workout. and it isn’t always my mentioning it! it is just what many of us do…maybe even most of us!
so if you have treadmill questions for my next treadmill video, leave them here. or in the chat box (which i tend to delete from every so often to keep it from getting too full)
xo
jenny
Robots or dinosaurs?
You are an inspiration – I’m down 50 and have another 100 to go. The 50 took 6 months and I’m sure the next 100 will take years, but I am going to do it.
Question for your next treadmill video: can you explain the whole law school/lawyer thing? Did you ever practice law? If not, why not? I’m just curious how you ended up on that path
good question!
I used to be a worrier. Probably worse than you are now. Not sure what happened or how but I stopped worrying over things not in my power to control. I think you get to this stage of reasonableness and acceptance as you get older. I’m 51… I still feel like maybe thirty-something so typing 51 and seeing 51 doesn’t really resonate with me. Oh well! That’s another topic, huh?
What is your favorite workout?
So do you get annoyed when people judge your obsessions?
What is your ideal healthy eating day?
Do you take supplements? What do you take if so? (Sorry if you have answered this before)
Thanks for always keeping the conversation going!
You have really helped me stay in check, and have been more motivated to workout and diet. 🙂
Such good timing that I read this tonight. I lost 60 pounds (and still had about 30 left to go) and felt SO great. I let “life” get in the way and have gained 30 of it back in the past year. I feel awful, physically and mentally. I need to lose it desperately as I am fighting diabetes without medication. You’d think that would be motivation enough. When I lost, my blood sugar was normal, now it’s going higher and higher. Your post reminds me that I have to FIGHT. And I have to be a little obsessed. It’s the only way I’ll get it under control. It shocks me that I could have felt THAT GOOD and let it go. Scary! Great blog, Jennifer, and the show is so different, but I really like it.
thanks mitra!
Question – do you just walk on the treadmill, walk/sprint…what’s your routine? You inspire me every day and your website has become one of the daily “must check” sites along with Facebook and Howard Stern’s site! I feel like I’m a year or two behind you with life events, emotional stress, my mother’s illness, etc. So as I watch you, I can see I will make it through it all. Thanks so much for shareing with us all.
oh patti… sorry you are going through difficult times. dark and light is how life goes…sounds trite but is true. stay positive if you can. xo.
You are so beautiful the way you are and I appreciate your continued talk about weight, food, etc. It has helped me! Thank you!
You said it yourself – a lot of people talk about weight/dieting/food issues and what a lot of us like most about your show is its distinction from other female-hosted shows which invariably feature women talking about weight and women talking about relationships.
Everyone knows calorie consumption = weight gain or loss, exercise = muscle tone. You’ve obviously inspired a lot of people because you succeeded, but there really isn’t much more to say of importance than that you consumed fewer calories and worked out more.
The ruminating people do around weight issues is tedious at best, and at worst contributes to misery of people who struggle (if the cultural fixation did not exist you might not have felt so miserable all those years versus feeling good, albeit with the understanding that you had some issues you “could work on”). So on the question of a success story talking about it so frequently: inspiring up to a (very limited) point to people dealing with being overweight, and beyond that point, probably dispiriting, and it also possibly contributes to the obsessive and unhealthy weirdness around weight/body issues in this culture.
Speaking as a Whatever fanboy, I find it painfully boring. I listen to Jen-Jen for personal anecdotes and perspectives (on subjects other than weight and “relationships”) presented in your inimitable way. You live and move and shake in NYC, you have a veritable social and cultural freak show to mine right in your own back yard.
Oh and ignore the haters, who are even more boring than diet/weight talk.
thanks… i dont talk so much about it on the air so much. but this site i express whatever i am feeling… so that’s that. appreciate the feedback though…
just one other thing though… i dont view myself as a success story…in fact that’s part of my problem. ill get there. hope you like the tales from the treadmill.. i don’t talk so much about the dieting there haha.
I love the TTFT videos..hilarious. And you are entitled to view yourself as a success story when you succeed!
Question:
I’m in the market for a new treadmill. What kind do you have? What features are a must have? Ones you can live without?
Hi Jenny!!!
We all luv u the way weight height hair length you have RIGHT NOW
Consider me a sister that sees u throughout ur life and allows u ur decision to do as u see u NEED OR WANT!!! AND LUVS AND RESPECTS U UNCONDITIONALLY!!!
XOXO
LISA IN CA
I think you have some mental issues that need to be addresses and perhaps you are in an abusive relationship that you are in denial about. Sorry, but your reactions on Dr. Drew’s panel in the Arias case are strange to say the least, especially your body language,