The Young Murderer In The BMW

Like all of us, I’m sick over this lonely, angry, mixed up, and horribly sad dead 22 year old murderer in the BMW.
I watched one of his youtube rants yesterday. Was appropriately nauseated by it. Then I watched it again. Was even more nauseated by it. What a revolting, miserable, entitled, evil, awful and sick boy.

I told my 15 year old son I want him to watch the video this psycho posted because I want him to see this rage- to understand it. I want him to grasp the depth of loneliness and anger that purportedly caused a 22 year old privileged boy to go on a murdering spree.

My son said, “Mom, Nothing he said in the video is going to make me understand- I can’t understand a kid’s doing that, just like you can’t. We aren’t able to understand it because we aren’t murderers.”

Boom.
How do we wrap our heads around such a heinous act?!
How do we make sense of something so senseless?!

We don’t. We can’t.

But we can look at every aspect of this act to see if maybe we can prevent another hurting boy’s decision to hurt others.
And we can talk to our boys about rage of all kinds- against humanity and against women.
Because much of this kid’s seething anger came from his feeling constantly rejected by girls. And feeling jealous of more popular boys.
He says in one video:  “I am a 22 year old virgin.”- like this is a valid reason to plot a mass murder?!

I tell my almost 14 year old daughter to be careful around the teenage boys.
“Respect yourself” I tell her- keep your legs closed! Kiss all the boys you want and that’s where it ends! She’s 13.
I tell her this. And then remind her she shouldn’t be alone with boys..yet… because sometimes they don’t understand the word “no.”

I also remind my daughter that she must be kind to those very boys who may be mean to her for refusing to send a naked selfie…A NAKED SELFIE! AT 13!
A boy tried to bully her. Called her names for being unwilling to get naked via iphone.
I tell her be kind to all boys. Even those nasty boys.  Why?! Because I fear what happens if she isn’t kind.
I wish I didn’t have to worry.

Life is different for girls and women. #YesAllWomen
We can teach our boys to treat our girls with care, respect, love and understanding.
And we can teach our girls to do the same right back. But also teach our girls to throw a punch, kick in the balls, scream and bite. Because sadly that might come in handy one day.

xo
Jenny