they are on! well not this very instant because as many of you already know (and enjoy the tidbit of new information those of you who don’t)- i don’t wear panties to bed. and right this very minute i am in my bed. wallowing. yup. i’m wallowing. and unfortunately i am not enjoying this pity party ive managed to throw for myself today.
mostly because i don’t have time for it. and
also because i am well aware how ridiculous (and indulgent!) it is that i am feeling any self pity.
yet i am feeling it. i am angry. and bitter. and irritated. and frustrated. and stuck. and sad.
and all because i am being FORCED to change. and i am not so gifted as to embrace change willingly.
oh sure. i will figure it out. and i will get less agitated. and i will put forth action and intent as i usually do.
and i will end up on the other side of (what feels to me like) adversity.
but i will stomp, scream and cry my way there. just how i am wired. deal with it. or don’t. i’m too tired to care.
i have been a devoted wife for close to 15 years. i’ve been a flawed but loving mommy for 13 years.
i entered both of those roles with excitement and little doubt. and i feel incredibly lucky to be saddled with MY little family.
but i was so lost 7 years ago.
staying home with my kids wasn’t enough for me.
and being a lawyer didn’t satisfy me.
becoming an entertainer saved me.
almost 7 years ago i got a job. and out of that job i got a radio show. and out of that radio show i got a life. and out of that life, i got a self.
and all of that feels threatened right now.
THIS radio show ive been doing is coming to an end shortly.
nothing but freedom and new opportunities lie ahead.
i’m cautiously optimistic i will be given the opportunity to broadcast and entertain elsewhere on siriusxm.
but in a way it is like starting over again.
and i am hoping in another little while i will be an overnight success.
i have LOVED LOVED LOVED doing my show and connecting with all of you.
and i thank each and every one of you who has cared enough to listen during the past 6 years.