hi everyone.
i am praying for a miracle to get my mother out of this situation. i am hoping the drs. are wrong and she’s not really so sick and this is all just a crazy mismanagement of some other illness that isn’t life ending…yeah i’m losing it.
i keep saying to my mom’s doctors too many times to count. "is there anything else we can be doing?" "no.", "are we missing something?" "no."
these drs are trying so hard.
i know my mom is this sick. and i know this is the end. and i know there’s been no mismanagement and i know everyone has done their best to save her.
my mother is barely with us at this point and it is nobody’s fault.
i know that i won’t be able to actually hear my mother tell me she loves me anymore and i’ll have to hear it from within. and i know my mother won’t be able to see my kids grow up but i will be the one to share her style, wisdom, warmth with them from now on. and i know that i will not be able to speak to her every morning anymore.
and i know that there is nothing ok about what is happening.
nothing ok.
why should my 65 year old mother be dying? WHY?
i know there is no answer.
i also know that my role has changed…i’ve been fighting so hard for my mother…trying to unearth something somewhere that will change her destiny. but really all i need to be doing now is keep telling my mother i love her.
i need to keep thanking my mother for the great job she’s done raising my brother, sister and me.
and i need to keep telling my mother we’ll all be ok.
waiting, waiting, waiting. that is what we are doing at this point. all together. all waiting.
and maybe the miracle i need is the one that will give my family and me peace once my mother takes her final breath.
the sadness is just so deep. it’s in every cell of my body
xxx
jennifer
aim:whateverradio
facebook: jennifer koppelman hutt
Lisa Hawaii says
Oh Jennifer I know that my saying I understand is meaningless. Of course you do not know me but ANYONE saying that is really meaningless. It’s just something we say when we don’t know WHAT to say.
Don’t you just hate it when people say “I know what you’re going through”…??? And then they start telling horror stories of their own losses. Just what you DO NOT want to hear. It’s just clumsiness, social ineptitude, results of helplessness.
Just know there are many many people who are keeping your family in their thoughts.
When the end does come, it will be a relief, really for all of you. End of suffering, end of hopelessness. Beginning of your dear mother becoming one with the universe in a bigger way than this earthly existence.
Wishing you many hugs, wishing her peace. Aloha Pumehana
loyal listener says
The raw honesty and acceptance in this post are so deeply touching, it almost feels like we are somehow intruding, like accidentally overhearing a private conversation or prayer. You’ve bared your soul, and I wish there were something that we as your fans and “friends” could do. Cancer robs us of so much, and we are so often defenseless. You are doing a hell of a fine job managing what yoo’ve been dealt to the best of your ability, and it is a difficult balance to try to manage your own grief while trying to be supportive for your siblings, father, and children. We all love you Jennifer, like a member of our own families or group of girlfiends, and her’s hoping that your heart soon finds the peace it is searching for.
Jonothan from Nashville says
Jennifer, no words can make you feel better. A few years ago I expeienced a simlair situation. A friend gave me this poem, it source is unknown, however I found some comfort in it. My hope it helps you:
I stood watching as the little ship sailed out to sea. The setting sun tinted it’s white sail with golden light. And as it disappeared from view, a voice at my side whispered. She is gone.
But the sea was a narrow one, and on the furtherst shore, a little band of friends gathered to watch in happy expectation. Suddenly, they caught sight of the tiny sail. And at that moment when my companion had whispered, She is gone, a glad shout went up in joyous weclome with the words, yes, here she comes.
Kristin says
My heart is breaking for you and your family. You’re in my prayers.
Nancy says
Jennifer,
My daughter and son-in-law have just gone thru this with his father…bone cancer, not pancreatic cancer ~ but the hurt and saddness is the same. Your love will not make the pain go away, but your Mother will feel it and know that you are there. May God bless you and your family…I will continue to pray for a miracle.
C from LV says
Jennifer I know you mother is very, very grateful to have such a wonderful daughter like you! You are a very special person as I am sure your brother and sister are as well; because you were raised by a wonderful person, your mother. I am sure you will carry this on with your own children. My heart, thoughts and prayers are truely with you and your entire family!
Bipolar Christy says
You have an genuine and intuitive ability to love, Jennifer. THAT is the best legacy your mother has left you. If your children inherit it, then your mother will always be with you. May God bless you…
Lisa says
Jenny-I think you are wrong. You have reached acceptance, you are just mad as hell about it and have every right to feel that way. Many thoughts and prayers coming your way. At my mom’s funeral a friend of hers told me how proud my mom would be of both me and my sister, what a wonderful thing to tell me when I was lost in the pain of losing my mom. Remember your mom’s love, how proud she is of your accomplishments and the strength she has given you to go on.
Laura in Arkansas says
Hang in there Jennifer, there’s no way to get through it all at once so just try to take it slowly. What you’re doing now, by your mother’s side, will be with you forever and actually bring you comfort at different times in the future. Although it’s hard as hell and very sad, this is also a very special time for each of you because you’re each sharing something so personal with your mom. She can hear everything you say and if you listen closely with your heart, you’ll hear her as well. Keep talking to her, tell her anything you can think of even if it’s something little like the weather or whatever, just talk. I think most importantly, try to find a way to let her know you’re ok, I think that’s the hardest thing our loved ones deal with when they’re letting go of life, they hang on til they know we’re ok. It sounds stupid but she really does need to hear that you’re ok (even if you know you’re not…) so hang in there and know that thousands of people are thinking of you and your family each day.
DK from Ohio says
Jennifer: I understand exactly what you are going through. Just renember what she was as a vibrant person and not what she is now. She wants to hang on for your family. My husband told his father who was in a coma that it was okay to go to heaven and within a matter of hours he was gone. I have been praying for you since reading the blog and listening to the show.
Canada Kathy says
Jennifer, you are right,there is nothing that is ok about this. My heart goes out to you and your family. My prayer for you is that you find the strength to get through this. To be there for your family and kids, and in turn, that they are there for you as well. Thank you for sharing something about your life that is so raw and so emotional. Take care, and lots of love from Canada.
Becky says
Jennifer, I am praying for you and your family. I know that God is there with you through all of this, and he will still be with you in the end. I pray that you can continue to be strong for your family.
Donna in AZ says
Tell your mom that it’s okay to go and be with her other loved ones who have passed on. Fortunately I was able to take great comfort that my Grandma was going to be with my Grandpa again. She was “seeing” him a few days before she went. It was like she could see his spirit. Or maybe it was just the morphine. 🙂 Either way she passed peacefully and seemed ready to go. Surround your mother with love and light. I’m so sorry that you have to experience such pain and sadness. It’s what reminds us how fragile and precious life is. You are strong and will get through this. Love to you and your family.
Laura says
Pray… that is what will get you through. I lost my Aunt in Feb same disease… it was so hard.. but now have come to realize she is in peace.
God Bless you and your family.
Jackie in Idaho says
Thinking about you and your family today, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing your personal life with the rest of us- Beautiful post, btw~
Kate says
We lost my boyfriend’s father December of last year to cancer, he was 58. The final weeks were so beyond hard. You want to think that there is something you can do, something the doctor’s can do. I think the greatest gift you can give to your mother is exactly what you are giving her, love and warmth….and the piece of mind that you will go on living her legacy. From all of the times I have listened to the show and from what you have written in your blogs I have come to admire you so much. The love you have for your family and your vibrant spirit should be a testiment to how your mother has influenced you. Hang in there, just remember to breathe and take it one day at a time. You and your family are in my thoughts!
Robert says
my thoughts and prayers are with you
Sabine says
I just felt intense sadness reading your latest post. I can relate to what you are going through at the moment. It’s not easy. I was in great denial and couldn’t comprehend that my boyfriend was dying. Constantly thinking that the doctors must have misdiagnosed him. The waiting was the worst. It tore me apart.
Try to be strong and get strength from knowing that you have a very supportive family behind you. You will be surprised how strong you can be! It will get worse, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can’t see it right now!
Thinking of you! Big Hug!
Kristen ( from Boston) says
HI Jenny,
I just lost my Grandfather last month; he was like a father to me. I can’t tell you how to feel and that you will be okay because that will be a lie. You will be angry and worse soo sad. Time does start to make the days feel better and more manageable but the pain is hard to get through. My only advice is to tell her you love her and keep all the happy memories with you forever. I am sure your Mom knows exactly how you feel about her as you have always been so close. Your children will know her through your families stores; when time heals you will laugh again. My thoughts are with you and your family.
xoxox
Cecilia says
Hi Jennifer,
It is good that you have expressed your feelings. Your sentiments are beautiful!! You and your Mother are so lucky to have each other. I feel your pain, since I lost my son. You do not have to apologize for your thoughts, I would think something was wrong if you didn’t express. I just hope that people do not approach you with the usual cliches, please know that some people do not think before they speak. I will never say that it gets better. What does get better is that you live with the familiarity of the pain each day. You will always have a part of you missing. But I know that you must see your mother in yourself and your children, and all the good memories will out weight the bad. You will get through this time, (I wish you did not have to go through this). You will be a little different from this experience. You are so loving & compassionate and I know your Mother is proud of you. Take the advice from another listener and say everything that is on your mind to your Mother. I never had any time it was so sudden. I do not know if there is a “better way”, there is none, but you have a chance to say all you can and just hope your Mother will be at peace with all the love that you can make her feel. When reading your comments I am so aware of all your listeners and how much they care, it is a wonderful thing. All my best to you and your family. I wish I could give you a big hug and make you smile. Take care.
SUE/INDIANA says
Jen…you are really good at putting your thoughts and feelings into words.I’ve never been able to do that..wish I could. I’m sure it helps. As I read your posts…I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you and your family.If it helps to take a leave from the show…do it. We would all miss you but those that care about you would understand.
kathleen says
no one can take away the pain you are experiencing now. There are seasons in life that we all must go through. I lost my Mom in 2001 – the first two years were horrible – I felt my right arm was cut off of my body. However love is eternal and I still feel her love in my life. This may seem crazy to some, but she reaches me in ways that only she and I would recognize. May Our Lord reach out to you and yours and give you the strength to get through this horrific time.
Kathy G says
You are in my thoughts Jennifer.
Diane Rieger says
Dearest Jenny
I am praying for you and your Mom. She always called and had such a wit and sense of style. It is so obvious how much her love is instilled in you and your family. May you be blessed with the memories of all those wonderful moments you have share with her forever.
I am also going through this with my Dad. It is such an upheaval in your everyday existence; it is hard to take sometimes. Sending you prayers of peace and healing. I hope my pot-bellied pig card brightened your day
Katy says
Hi Jennifer,
I lost my father in a similar fasion 5 years ago 3 months before my daughter was born, the waiting is the hardest part, but I will tell you as time goes by it does get easier, I will never forget that day or moment, but I do remember the good now more often than the bad. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.
Katy
laura m. says
i just hope all these loving messages are helping even just alittle bit. you write beautifully. just another thing you do well. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
SheliaAtl says
Jennifer I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family. Even though I am a stranger I have been praying several times a day for your mother. I am so sorry for your pain, you have touched my heart with your sadness. Try and be strong. Sending you hugs and prayers from Atl.
mark from ri says
jennifer,
wish i could offer more than these words. sending every ounce of goodwill in this world your way. please hang in there.
Linda says
I’m so sorry for your sadness, Jennifer. I’m sure your Mother’s greatest joy was her family and she feels your love. I found a small, simple book “When Bad Things Happen To Good People” by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner very helpful when I lost my Mother. Bless you and your family.
Liz on Long Island says
I’ve had you on my mind all weekend…my heart breaks for you and your family…I wish there was an answer as to why bad things happen to good people..why?
Beverly says
I know…I’m crying with you, such sadness to bear. Special thoughts your way, dear.
Jada says
My heart is breaking for you. I’m so sorry.
grammagiltz (connie) says
I haven’t been able to tune in as i am with my granddaughters, i lost my mother 2 yeas before my daughter was born, i swear she is so like my mother it’s odd her never knowing her, I try to keep her alive now by sharing all I can with my 5 year old granddaughter, surprises me that after all these years when I talk of her to my granddaughter the tears come. Hold her hand and talk, talk, talk. She will continue to watch over your family, I will get a wiff of what she smelled like, her soap, when the baby, just one year, is asleep, and it comforts me to know she is near. here come more tears, for your loss.
your family is in my prayers, for the strength you need.
Connie
(grammagiltz)
leo says
I love ya Jennifer.
Jessica says
Jennifer, I am thinking of you and your family and keeping them in my prayers! Please hang in there! I have been thru hell and back with my grandmother’s illness and death, and the sudden death of my father all with in 2 years, my heart is aching knowing that someone else is experincing such pain too….I am so sorry that you have to face this…please hang in there and I truly hope your miracle will come. You are a wonderful person! Know that your fans are keeping you in thier hearts!
Thinking of you and your family!
Jessica
Kim from Seagrave says
Jennifer, it is with tears running down my face I write this. There but by the grace of god go I. My heart aches for your and your family. Your mom is truly fortunate to have such a loving and supportive family. Hugs to Mr Koppelman and his loving family.
Kim from Seagrave says
Jennifer – it seems that you have made peace with this and that is a tremendous
thing.
Elpis says
How about some stories of cancer survivors and hope.
Wi Girl says
You and your family popped into my mind all weekend and I kept checking the blog to see how things were going.
There is nothing to say but to wish you all strength and faith.
Sonja says
Oh Jennifer, I am so sorry. I see a bit of acceptance in your writings. I wish you and your family the very best. Keep writing, we are all here for you. I wish you and your family peace.
Steph in ATL says
Oh Jen…I wish I could give you some encouraging words, but the reality is it just sucks(I type as tears roll down my cheeks)! I lost my mom in 2000 a week after her 69th birthday(I was 29), and 2 weeks after my parents 47th anniversary, she had congestive heart failure. She was sick for 7 years and her first DR. told us that’s about how long she would last(she had a defiblrillator/pacemaker). She was home with us at the end(hospice) and I kissed her last tear that rolled down her cheek, right after she passed.
Good news is you will get through it, bad news is it never gets easier. People say that time heals, but I disagree. You can never forget your loved ones….I’ll never get over not getting one more birthday, one more Thanksgiving, one more Mother’s Day…etc. The pain is always so raw. The difference between us is, I don’t have a good family system, friends and/or support group…you do and that’s so important. Stay strong and keep your head up, that’s what your mom would want. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Peace to you and your family.
terry says
thanks, jennifer, for sharing this. you helped me. this was exactly what i needed to read/hear in order to deal with a situation of my own. my thoughts are with you and your family.
NickysMama says
Jennifer, I dont listen to the radio show I dont have sirius. I just stumbled upon your blog a few month ago and I really liked it. I kept coming back every day because of you. You are the bravest person I know to share your feelings with all the world. I do not pray but I think about you every day. I have never met/seen/encountered/known you name it a stronger person.
amyrabuf says
jennifer, I feel your pain and I feel so sorry for you right now. That was the sadest blog I have ever read. I know it came from your heart and I really can’t say anything to make you feel better. I will think of you and your mother as will my mom who freguently asks about you and her. I know nothing I can saw will help. I’m so sorry. Amy
Gardenlover says
Hi Jennifer – You and your family were on my mind all weekend. I checked the blog each day for an update, hoping that some miracle had happened. I am so very sorry, its sounds like the end is near for Bunny. Like others have mentioned, let your mom know it’s ok if it’s time for her to go – let her know you’ll miss her like hell, but its ok. Assure you will see her again one day. Wishing peace for you, your mom and your family…
Kelly says
My Dear Jennifer
Your Mother knows you loves her. She is not leaving you forever, She has raised you children and what what a wounderful Job she has done But now it is time for her to take the next step she will go and create your family new home where she will wait for all of you, Strong beautiful and in no pain where there she will be when it is time to meet again. God Bless you and your entire family.
Amy says
You have the right spirit. No matter what your religion is it is important to keep praying. God will take care of you and your mother. She will let you know that she is okay and loves you. It may take a year or two, but you will know. You will feel it or it will come in a dream. Our parents are always with us. My father passed away when he was 64 and I was 29. He was too young to leave and I was too young to lose him.
Emily in Atlanta says
Jennifer,
I know your heart is broken, and mine is for you too. Try and remember that someday soon you will find yourself accepting this and these days will feel less painful as you remember all of the wonderful momements you shared with your mother.
Lots of Hugs!
Emily
Dresden Disney-Dior says
(((Jennifer))) my heart aches for you. If it were in my power I would make this go away. All I can offer are my prayers. Yesterday, I was enveloped in sadness. Your Mom invaded my thoughts and I cried for the most part of the day and now I find new words from you and I KNOW why I’ve been so sad. 🙁 I’m new to your blog, and last week, I spent a day, reading ALL of it and watching EVERY video you put up. I then googled your name and read everything I could find, so I could have some insight. I wanted to know more about Bunny and your family. OMG! I was in tears when I read an article about your wedding and how Bunny created a beautiful “fairy tale” day for you and Keithy. Your Mom sounds as beautiful inside as she is on the outside. I’m in AWE of your family! The love you share. Your sister, Stacy and brother Brian — who’s so great! Your Dad who sounds like a TRUE gentleman. You’ve been Blessed my dear Jennifer. You have an awesome family that filled your memory card to infinity. Your Mom’s love will be with you FOREVER! I wish I could give you a BIG hug and tell you ALL is well. We’re in God’s hands, and there’s NOT a better place to be.
Much Love,
Dresden
Lisa says
Wow Jennifer you are amazing!!!!! I know you are just heart broken and at your witts end and yet you can still manage to be able to laugh and put on a great radio show with Alexis. It’s great that you can keep things together at home and in your career and still deal with the bad times your mom is going through. I have found in my own life that if I can keep my sence of humor and can keep on laughing even in bad times thigs will be OK!
G-d bless
Mandi in NC says
I’m so sorry for what you are going thru. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Jenn says
Jennifer, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your words, though deeply sad, are absolutely lovely and a testament to the great love that must run through your family.
kenn L says
Jenn,
You are doing a wonderful job. Being there with your mother is the best thing right now. Her love will be with your family forever, as your love will be with her. Be there for each other, cry together, grieve together, take the time to heal, It will all be okay. You have many friends and family that will be here when you need a shoulder to lean on. Be strong,
ken
Susan in CA says
Jennifer,
How eloquently written.
Susan
Patti says
Keep telling her you love her. I know what you are going through .. lost my Mom four years ago at 67. She lives on in our hearts, though – and we see her in her granddaughter’s faces every day. During these dark days, hang on to each other. It’s the only way.
Billy Kilgore whkilgore@yahoo.com says
jennifer,
your posting brought tears to my eyes. i lost my mother when she was 59 yrs old, and i was 28. it continues to be the hardest thing i have or i think will ever go through. my mom was the heartbeat of our family. i still want to call her every morning, or when something happens to tell her. i have now learned to lean on my siblings more and doing so has helped me somewhat. i wont say it ever gets better because it doesnt. i think of my mother everyday, and i continue on for her. she loved our family so much and i try all the time to share stories of her with my nieces and nephews who were all so little when she passes.my prayers are with you..
Erica from Ohio says
Jen, You are such a strong woman. I don’t know if I’d be able to be so brave if I were in your situation. Your mother knows that you love her and she loves you probably more than you’ll ever be able to fathom. My thoughts are always with you. Love, Erica XXOO
dansi says
Jennifer, God Bless you and your family. My heart goes out to you all.
Jackie in TX says
Jennifer,
I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I lost my dad when he was 68. If things are near the end the best thing that you can do for your mother now is to let her know it is ok to let go. Sometimes people try to hold on for those of us they are leaving behind and that is not good for them. Just be sure to tell her you love her and know that she will be in a better place, but also always be with and your family as well.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Jackie
Pam says
:'( They say that hearing is the last to go. Say all you need to say to her. When my dad died we all sat vigil and told him everything we wanted. Give yourselves sometime alone to tell her everything you need. It sucks so bad. Hospice gave my dad 8 hrs. and dammit he died exactly 8 hrs to the T.
To Liz in Long Island from Mingya says
Bad things happen to good people because that is part of life. You cannot know joy without knowing sadness.
Kathryn says
Jen
It is through tears that I write this….
I couldn’t be more sorry.
So very, very sorry.
Arlene says
On my prayer list Jen.
Erin from Pittsburgh says
Jennifer, before I read all of the previous comments, I want to respond to your blog without being affected by someone else’s reply. I scanned a couple of them and was so overcome by emotion. However, your words are what touched me the most, as I’m sure they touched other readers. I cannot even describe how I felt when I read your words. To describe it, for me, would be to trivialize it in some way. I only want to say that I appreciate your honesty and sharing. You are helping all of us in different ways. That is why we listen to you on the radio. Your personality invites us in to share crazy stuff, funny stuff, irritating stuff, stuff in general and unfortunately sad stuff.
Thank you for sharing your heart,
Erin
Kathy from Colorado says
Jennifer,
As a few others have said, the best thing that you can do for your mom is to tell her it OK to go. No one should have to suffer so much, it is just not fair. They need to know that you will be OK and that you want them to be OK with moving on. Even if she seems unable to hear you, in some way the message seems to get through. It is so hard to go through. I reall y feel for you and your family.
John says
Keyboard full of tears here, all too familiar.
Melissa in NY says
Jennifer-
Sorry your family is going thru this… thinking of you
Maggie says
What a truly beautiful and eloquent post. It is a great tribute to what a wonderful, special and loving Mother Bunny is and will always be. For words of comfort, may I offer the advice of reading the poem in the Prophet, by Kihlil Gibran regading joy and sorrow? I wish you and your family peace.
:) says
((hugs))
lil says
You are honoring your mother by sitting vigil with her and telling her how much you love her….it is everything to a mother to hear those words and be surrounded by family. We may never understand the Why, we can support those we love. You are doing all you can, all a mother could want.
Lori from Colorado says
Praying for comfort for you and your family. Smiles and hugs to you. You make me laugh and I send some of that back to you.
Natasha says
Jennifer, my heart is aching for your sadness. I’m so sorry!
Kim says
Jennifer, I am so sorry for you and your family. I know this is incredibly hard. Acceptance will have to come much later.
Jen from Fairview Park - formerly - Jen from Lakewood Ohio says
Hi Jen,
I lost my Dad on Friday. He was young, 56 – and it was sudden. Be thankful of the time you have with your Mom. Take Care.
Julie says
Jennifer: I won’t say “I know exactly how you feel” because I’m sure I don’t even though I have also experienced the loss of loved ones. I read your post and felt such sadness and pain and yet see a glimmer of a very lovely young woman with wisdom beyond your years. I would imagine your mom would be very proud of what a fine human being you are. You are in my thoughts.
kath says
I just found out today that my mother has stomach cancer. The doctor also said they will do surgery, but there is a very good possibility that she won’t survive it. I’m devastated and at the same time feeling kind of numb right now.
Thank you for being so open with what you’re feeling. I wish you and your Mom healing and peace.
Eileen says
I am so sorry for your pain. You are a great daughter, your friends and family will help you thru this. We all have you in our thoughts & prayers. Be strong.
Linda in Charlotte says
I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Stephanie says
Jennifer,
I was so saddened by your last post. I know this is a hard time for you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers.
You are so blessed to have had such a wonderfu mother- even though her time may be limited on this earth- the time she spent was quality and her life will continue through you, your siblings, and all the grandchildren. I pray for peace for all of you.
Love,
Stephanie in TN
KDM N AL says
you are a good daughter – how proud your Mother must be – Prayers with the Koppelmans and Hutts
Hurricane says
Jennifer, you and your family are in my thoughts.
Lynette says
Jennifer, my heart breaks for you! There’s nothing to say except I sent a prayer to God last night for you and your family. God keep you and give you strength.
Mike says
Your Mom has done a great job. You are strong and beautiful. Be gentle with yourself.
Annette says
I’ve been reading yours and Alexis’s blogs for a year now, I really enjoy reading them but never found a reason to comment until now. Jennifer you are an absolutely amazing person to be going through this on air and in your blog.
I’ve never listened to a radio show and felt so many emotions…cracking up in hysterics one moment, being angry the next, and then feeling such emotion for what you and your family are going through.
Tomorrow i’m going in for knee surgery and was a HUGE pain in the ass to my husband tonight, complaining about everything under the sun (think it’s cause i’m nervous). Anway, reading your blog entry tonight really put things into perspective, and made me realize how important family is and to cherish every moment, life is way too short to be a pain in the ass! Even if it’s my nerves taking control. Anyway…
Hold bunnies hand tight and don’t let her go. But if she does slip away, she did so because she knows you’ll always be there holding her in her soul.
justina says
No words are sufficient for how bad I feel for you. I admire the strength you have to carry on with the radio show and the blogging. I would be under the covers. I think you’re really being super strong , especially for your kids and that’s so important. Much love.
julieAZ says
My thoughts are with you and your family. This is never an easy time and I don’t think there’s really any words that i can say to really make you feel better about this. I just want you to know that you’re in my thoughts.
Ladymissgailo says
I’m still praying for a miracle, for your mother and you and your family.
Dianne says
I want to commend all the of above for your support through your caring words.! Wow, what a wonderful circle of support for Jenn and her family.
I believe you are truly blest Jennifer.
Emma says
God bless you and your family…your mother knows you love her more than anything. I’ve been through a similar experience with my father, and I understand a bit. All of us send love and peace to you and your beautiful mother Bunny.
Carol Fab says
Jennifer, I’m a Hospice nurse and your mother hears each and every word you say to her! Tell racy jokes, whisper private words, tell her how you backed the family car into a tree…..fess up!!! Talk to her in these last days just the way you always would. Say, “I Love You” !! SHE HEARS YOU!!!! She can’t respond, but her heart is there with you, pouring out love for her family. The flitter of a finger, the wiggle of a toe, the warmth on the side of the pt’s face next to her loved one. Oh….its there!!! And after you’ve said your peace….tell her the Angels are waiting for her……tell her that you and the kids are going to be fine! And…you will……Life is such an incredible gift!!!
Kim says
Pru says
Jennifer, you have finally reached stage 5 – acceptance. I hope that the last few moments that you have with your mother are peaceful. She will know that you and your family and strong and will continue to be strong once she is no longer here.
With love to you, and your family.
Pru
barbara says
jennifer I feel so terrible for you. spend as much time with your mom as you can. how is your father coping? make sure you are there for him too.
Evan says
We love you, Bunny. Peace.
Judy says
Ditto! How eloquently written. Love and tears.
Peggy Knox says
Jennifer-
My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Jennifer, and your Mom and your family. ….that you all will be immersed in a calming, quiet peace.
Annette in CA says
Jennifer
Just hold on. No one is ever ready to lose someone they love especially a mom.
She knows you love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edie says
I’m praying for you and your family to get through this time with all the strength you might need from whatever source you might need it from.
to Dianne says
Thank you
b says
so sorry for your pain . . . praying for strength and peace for you and your family.
Barbara says
I feel your pain, My dad died of cancer at 61. It’s a sad reality of life that we lose our parents. I hope your mom’s parents are not around to see this. That’s the only thing worse.
Hearing is the last thing to go, so keep telling her you love her and anything else you want to say. She hears you. You’ll all get through this and time will make it somewhat better. God bless.
Stefani says
Jennifer and Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Know that your friends and God are with you.
Jaymi says
That was such a touching, heartfelt post. I’m so sorry for your pain Jennifer. Know that so many of us out here in cyberspace wish you well and hold you close.
Scotty in Chicago says
My thoughts are with you Jennifer; I’ll include your Mom’s name in this Friday’s Misheberach.
Lauren says
I just read your blog and can sympathize with you. My father passed away Jan. 2007 of colon cancer. A friend of mine gave me the book Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, (hospice nurses). Although I did not read it before he died I did read it after the fact. It helped to understand the whole process that people go through during this time. I must say it helped make sense of something that never made sense before.
Cherish the time you have and be grateful for all things both big and small and never loose your sense of humor, because even in death things can be pretty funny and those times will carry you through.
Hugs
Lauren
Mike Iser-Long Time Listener-Chicago says
I have been where you are at and understand your feelings, you will gather your strength from within yourself, and those around you. Give yourself the time that you will need, one hour or one day at a time, and slowly you will realize all the gifts left from your Mother to you and your family.
TGL says
My thoughts are with you. Love, Tiina
Jennifer says
Wow, Jennifer.
I know this wasn’t your intent, but that was absolutely beautiful.
As much as you’re hurting, it seems as though you had a very clear mind when you wrote this. You seemed very “connected” to something.
I’m SO sorry you have to go through this. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Leslie from Colorado says
I along with unfortunatly, many other woman have faced this with my mother. We shared our birthday and were very close. I dissagree with the 5 stages of grief. Sure you go through the 1st 4, but I don’t think I will ever “except mom’s death”. I have moved on and she is always present with me, no not a ghost but I see her wonderful qualities every where I turn. And when I see these great qualities I know she is around.
I also must say I wanted to kill the Dr. He had no clue. But the nurses were fantastic. What they put up with. We are all going through this process of life and it is up to us to do the most with what we are given. My best to you and your family!
Jodi says
I have stood in your shoes twice, once with my father 20 years ago (he died young) and last year with my sister. I’m so sorry. It is very hard and words cannot make you feel better. Faith helps. I’ll say a prayer for you.
Claudia in Montreal says
I can’t say I know what you’re going through – I’ve not lost a parent. Thank G-D. But I am scared to death of it (no pun intended) because I’m an only child and have no brothers or sisters to one day share the grief with.
Say everything you need to say to your mom now – say it every day, repeat yourself until you are blue in the face!
She hears you.
It will make her happy. She will leave this world knowing she did a great job raising you.
You are a fantastic person Jenn.
My prayers are with you and your entire family.
gigi/joann says
oh jen, my heart breaks for you. You’ve done all you can and now she is getting ready to let go. I love your strength and I wish you some sort of relief in this horrible time. Just know Bunny is NOT in pain anymore which should be a huge burden lifted despite your wanting her around for longer. who knows why this happens to someone so young, it totally sucks. Take care of yourself Jen. My prayers to you.
Jen in PA says
Losing your mom sucks. I know because I lost mine to lung cancer when she was 61, 4 years ago. I still can’t believe it. The only words of solace someone told me may be helpful to you someday. This person told me I was lucky to feel so much pain because the pain I felt was relative to the love I had for and from my mother. Hard but true.
rerun show says
i hope because the show is a rerun nothing terrible has happened. thinking about your and your family Jennifer. I am so sad for you.
John Adams says
Bunny raised a special daughter. That is a fulfilled life.
Sheila says
Jennifer, my heart goes out to you! My mother passed away from Ovarian cancer when she was 70. The one thing I regret deeply is that I couldn’t get to the hospital in time after the nurse called me to say good-bye and to hold her. You are doing everything right. Say everything you can now and show all your love. It won’t get easier, but time does soften the hurt. God Bless you and your family.
Kathleen says
Jennifer,
My thoughts are with you today, God Bless Bunny too.
Pinwiz says
::hugs::
Lori says
Jennifer
My heart is breaking.
You write so beautifully when you talk about how you will be the one to share your mother’s style,warmth and wisdom.
Your mother raised a wonderful loving daughter.You are her legacy and now you will in turn take her wisdom and raise your kids with those qualities.It’s what she would want.
You make me laugh everyday,even through all this.I wish there was something I could do to put a smile on your face.
You are in my thoughts.
Lori
Erika says
Hello Jennifer,
The MIRACLE you are looking for is the TIME you have with your Mom right now. Talk to her and just sit beside her and she will feel the love you have shared with her forever. I recently lost my 63 year old Mom to a very RARE, aggressive cancer and there are no words to make you feel better or to help you understand the “whys” you ask daily. I still don’t understand why, but I do know that God gave me the best Mom (also my best friend, my Dad’s wife for 42 years, Mom to my Brother, and Grandmother of three) for 63 years here on this Earth, but she is in my mind and my heart forever. I gave birth to her first Grandaughter the day before she passed and my Daughter will know her and the legacy she left behind through my family, her friends, and the wonderful memories we all have, even though they never had the chance to meet in person. There are times I still pick up the phone to call her or see something that I should buy for her that she would love! Enjoy just being with your Mom, no matter how tough it seems right now.
From someone who can relate–You and your family are in my prayers. May peace be with you and your family and most importantly, your Mom, Bunny.
mary-Indiana says
My parents died 22 years ago. My mom had ovarian cancer-she died within 6 months—-my dad had liver/lung/bone cancer-he died within 9 weeks. My mom had just turned 60–my dad 67. They died 18 hours apart. How fitting to be married 42 years and have a double funeral. You do survive.
Kim from South Jersey says
Jennifer, you and Bunny and your family are in my thoughts. Sending you hugs.
Jen says
Jennifer,
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Luisa Schumacher says
Jennifer- your grace, humor and love for others has gotten me thru so much during my time listening to your show. I hope you know that we are all inspired by you and thinking of your family during this time.
koleen says
jennifer…thanks for reminding me how precious every day that we have is. i’m going to tell my mom that i love her right now. surrounding your mom with such love meant more to her than you will ever know. take a breath now and feel the sun on your face.
jo says
You are so very brave to write your emotions. God bless you all.
Steph says
Jennifer,
My deepest sympathy. You are a brave woman to share your thoughts with all of us. You are in my prayers. Bless your Bunny. Take care.
kathy says
i know. i lost my dad the same way on 4/29/08. my sisters, mom and i were in his bed as he passed and i wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. when he passed i cut a piece of his hair to have forever. when he needed his nails cut, i saved them too. it may sound weird and morbid, but i needed a piece of him to have forever. just some thoughts as to what i went through. just keep telling her how much you love her and what a great mom she is. have no regrets.
jen says
I am so sorry Jennifer, you are in my prayers.
Jen says
Jennifer,
You are strong enough to handle this horrible situation and you will have peace…eventually. The waiting must just be the hardest part. When I was going to deliver my first child, I remember my mom telling me the scariest part of labor is that you don’t know what to expect or how it will feel. It’s the not knowing that you can’t wrap your brain around. Maybe that’s a little of what you are experiencing – the not knowing how to deal with these feelings and the feelings you will have when she is gone. You’ve never had pain like that before. But, just like labor, as you know, you will get through it. Your body, heart and soul will take care of you and you will find your way through. I think you are stronger than you know and you are about to prove it to yourself. My thoughts are with you.
-Jen
Bearsmama says
Jennifer-I am so, so sorry. That’s all I can say. Your words this morning are so eloquent and raw and real. And beautiful. I have never listened to your show, but stumbled upon your blogs within the past year. I read a few times a week and I’ve been following your posts about your mother’s illness.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
-B
Jane M says
This post made me cry.
Linda says
Jennifer – acceptance will come, even though this is the hardest thing you could ever imagine going through and harder still to imagine a life without your Mom. One day at a time and with the love of your family the sun will shine again (how corny is that) but true.
bernadette says
Made me cry again…Thanks for sharing:( Fingers crossed for Bunny!
Karin says
Oh Jennifer I’m so sorry. Waiting for the end once it becomes apparent that is inevitable is the hardest part. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m just glad you’re not alone. You and your family need to hold each other colse now and lean on each other as hard as you can.
We’re all out here praying and hoping, ready to lend a shoulder if you need it.
XOXOXO
Lisa Novachek says
Jen,
No words, hon. My heart breaks for you. Except-Your brother is not the only one in the family with writing talent, you have moved me to tears.
Lisa
Jenny in Detroit says
Jennifer — You are loving her well, you are remembering your lives together…you are advocating for her and you are being close as you can to her. That is the peace that you can count on…it will help carry you and your family through the sadness. It won’t make the saddness go away, but it will lead you to resolution and rest.Your folks must be very, very proud of their daugher’s heart.
Malise says
You all have such a wonderful
Emmy says
Bless your heart, Jennifer.
ORJen says
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, Jennifer.
Robin says
I am so sorry that you are going through this awful, terrible, ugly, unforgiving, ruthless disease. I always think that if I say the worst about something that it will all go away and I will feel better…..didn’t work, but know that my heart is with you and your family through this. What a beautiful tribute to your mother, and to leave for all those who love you – telling her what she is to you – I’m sure it means so much to all….take care.
Natasha says
Sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Marlene says
Hi Jenn, sorry you are going through such sorrow. I think all you can do at this point is pray for peace for her and be strong for your family. Again I am so sorry, and pray for all of you everyday.
I wish this where easier, but there is so much love in your hearts it can’t be!
Jeannine says
Jennifer, I’ve posted a few times on your blogs about your trials with your Mother’s illness. I’m sitting here at work typing this post to you with tears in my eyes because I feel your pain. My Mother passed away a few years ago from cancer, too. It’s frightening. However, as stupid as it sounds, it’s like breaking up with a boyfriend: it hurts like the dickens for the first while and then you suddenly you can see the light of happiness again. Love your Mom as much as you can. Her love will shine down on you after she’s gone, and that will heal you. Even though I don’t know you, I’m sending you a huge hug.
Jamie says
Jennifer,
I’m so sorry. We lost my grandfather to cancer five years ago this coming August. He was 65. It was so hard and so unfair. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.
carl says
My God, Jennifer, I know exactly what you are going through. My mother is going through the final stages of Alzheimer’s. She is in a nursing home, and go to visit her everyday. She has not eaten a morsel of food, nor a drop of any water for 6 weeks at this point. She just lays there and continues to deteriorate daily.
It’s such an awful feeling to just sit around and watch someone who is so important to you, just fade away.
My heart and thoughts are with you and your family.
Terri says
Prayers for peace and comfort for your mother and your family.
Sandy/Scottsdale says
Jennifer: That was beautiful and heartbreaking. You just keep loving her through it. It’s a gift that you can give her. I have been there too. One day you will feel better. Not great, but better. We your listeners are sending all the best we can to you. So hard and so f’n unfair.
Sharon says
Your blog sounds like you are in a more peaceful place. You are doing exactly what you should be doing. Keep talking to her and telling her you love her. I am praying for you and your family.
Lisa says
I know that there are no words that will ever make this easier or make you feel better. My prayer, hopes and thoughts are with you, Bunny, and the rest of the family. Thank you for sharing with us what a wonderful woman she is.
Rob says
Jen…I have started my message over and over…there are no words. Just know you are in my prayers.
Michelle says
I went through the exact same thing with my mom 2 years ago – she was 65 with pancreatic cancer. We are an extremely close family and her loss was the hardest thing and continues to be the hardest thing that we have ever gone through. Having said that you are right in that your role needs to change – do all of the things that you said you are going to do – the medical fight is likely over. Now, you need to say whatever is left to say and then my advice would be to tell her that it is okay for her to go – giving her that permission — it is important to you and to her.
The other thing is just for you to know that even though you do not think so right now – you will get through it and your life will continue and after a period of heavy grief – the grief will incorporate itself into your life somehow and you will begin to smile when you think of her instead of cry.
If there is a way for us to connect personally I would be happy to do that.
Take good care of your family – and let others help you too!
Melanie says
Jennifer I don’t even know what to say, but do keep telling your Mom how much you love her. I think even when someone is sick like your Mom is they can still hear what we are saying to them. I am still praying for all of you.
Mica says
I think acceptance is near Jennifer, it is the longest step and the most difficult to take. Good luck, stay strong and God bless you and your family.
xoxo
Mica
Lilly says
Thinking of you, Jennifer. So, so sorry.
maryt2516 says
As have so many others, I’ve been where you are today and I know how overwhelmingly sad you feel. I lost my father to colon cancer. My parents were in Florida and I live in Michigan. I spent 15 months flying to Florida for weeks at a time, praying every minute that something would change and he would somehow be O.K.. I spent the last 5 days at hospice praying for it to be over so that he could finally be at peace. The sadness was all consuming but, when you love someone that much, you come to understand that they need you to let them go. I was 48 years old and that last week was when I really grew up. I held his hand as he passed and, as corny as it may sound, I watched as his soul left his body. Suddenly he just wasn’t there any more. It was both the saddest and most peaceful moment of my life. About 6 months later I woke my husband up to tell hem that I had dreamed about my father. His reply was that I dreamed about him all the time. I said, “You don’t understand. This time he wasn’t sick!” He is still in my dreams often and he is always healthy and happy. Give yourself time. It will take a while but eventually the good memories will prevail.
Lynne says
I hate the fact that you even know what this pain is like. Or even the fact that anyone knows. Yes, it can be said that it’s all part of life, but that’s not good enough to explain anything.
On the other hand I want to thank-you for being so honest about what you are feeling. It really does help those who are also going through it, and feeling like they are loosing their grip. I realize that as a listener of the show, I am in the same position as many others are; we feel like we really know you. I wish I could help. Maybe run errands etc. (That might be a little bit of a challenge from NC!!) I know I’m not alone in saying that, and you should never feel that you are alone in this.
Take Care of yourself and your family.
Tanya says
I am sad with you.
Jean Marie says
Jennifer, my heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts and emotions. If you can reread just what you wrote for yourself from time to time, I think it will help you get through because what you wrote is so real. And you will get through with the grace of God. This part of life is so hard to endure. Take care and much loving thoughts for you and your family.
Kim says
Oh dear God Jennifer i’m so sorry! My mother’s been gone a long time and we never had the good fortune of her knowing my child. Oh Jennifer you poor sweetheart i know it sucks.
Lori says
Jennifer, I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. Peace to all of you.
danat says
Beautifully written and straight from the heart, Jennifer. I have been thinking of you and your family often. I hope that means something, coming from a complete stranger.
Judi says
Has the irony of this situation escaped anyone..On Jennifer.s side of the blog is the most HONEST.DIGINIFED.ELOQUENT. discription of LOVE and GRIEF and the other side..the most EXQUSITE photos of nature.s bounty..Jennifer, know Bunny is a part of a larger plan otherwise how could such beauty exsist ??? Jennifer/family…my loving thoughts
Dan says
I am glad for you that your mother is home. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Lori L. says
Jennifer, I am so sorry you have to be going through this, my father died last year of pancreatic cancer and he was 62, and I felt all the feelings you are blogging about, its awful disease, he died 2 and half months after diagnosis.Dont let anyone tell you how to grieve, I got lots of unwanted advice, but needed to go through it in my own way, still havent reached acceptance but doing much better. Only advice is to say what need to say to her and allow yourself to grieve in your own way.
jo says
you actually just made me cry. I can feel your pain and I’m so sorry! xo
Ray says
I’ve never left a comment before but I just had to tell you how sorry I am for you and how brave you have been in your blogs. My heart goes out to you.
Stacy says
Jennifer:
I am so sorry that you and your family are going though this, it is devastating. I can’t imagine the pain. I am sure you are helping others by sharing the pain and hopefully, in time it will help you as well. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
barb in az says
Jennifer, I am so sad for you. I also hope your Dad is doing okay. Tis has to be devastating for him. This is the most horrible part of life. Some how we get through it. Take care.
Lauren says
Jennifer, as I have said before, I don’t have any words of wisdom but know you will always be Bunny’s little girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Bruxa says
God provides to everyone a new strength for each situation. You may not have the strength right at this moment to deal with your mother passing but when it’s time, you will be provided a new strength to draw on. From strength to strength, you will be given provision.
SA says
Jen,
Your pain is so evident in your post. You are strong, your Mom did a great job raising you. Sit with her, talk to her, share stories as she passes. Let her know the fantastic job she did. You will be blessed with the ability to tell your kids you had a great Mom. She will live on in you. It sucks that you are going through this. Your family will still be intact. Instead of having your Mom with you on Earth, you will all have the stories/life experiences. I don’t know what the Jewish faith does for a death, but my Grandma was always big on celebrating life when someone dies. Sure, you will be sad that is normal. However, your family should gather and make your Mom’s favorite foods/tell stories and find strength in her memories. Your Mom knows that you love her, she knows that she did a good job and you will be ok. Maybe sit with her and tell her it is ok for her to let go if that is what she wants to do. Let her know that if she is tired and ready you will all be ok. Hugs to your family and to your Mom.
amy from georgia says
Jennifer, I lost my mother in 2001, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!! The pain is unbarable, my sister and I literaly stayed in bed for 3 months after she passed, we didn’t think we could go on without her, we also told her it was ok to go and we would be ok,My heart goes out to you and your family remember “THROUGH THE STORM, YOU DO NOT WALK ALONE” LOVE AND PRAYERS
Sherre from California... says
Jennifer, My heart goes out to you and your family. Your story really broke my heart and made me cry. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and my wish for you is to have the strength to get through each day. May your Mother be comforted during this time and feel the love from all her many family members.
Take care of yourself during this most difficult time.
Denise says
I feel for you; you Blog entry makes me cry—-for you and for the fear that we all have these same words for our loved ones that face the end. Take care and my best to your family, Denise (loyal listener)
((hugs)) says
Be strong….(( HUGS))
Bunny Always was…..XXOO
Linda in pittsburgh 🙂
JenniferM says
Wow, that was very hard to read, brought tears to my eyes. Jennifer you are very courageous to open up and put you feelings out there like that. I am sure that your mother was very proud of you for all you have accomplished. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
Jill says
I feel so much for the pain and loss you are going through. This is going to sound so corny, but if there is nothing left to do, you and the family need to let her know that it is o.k. for her to move on. I have seen it happen over and over, the loved on hangs on, and as soon as they tell him/her that it is o.k. to leave, that she/he doesn’t need to stay here, suffering, for them – that they move on. Which means to me that on some level, your mom knows you and your family are there, and if she knows that, she knows you all love her and are there for her.
Peace (for all that it’s worth), Jill
Sandra in Tx says
My heart hurts as I read your post. Can you take your mom out of the hospital for a walk or anything that would be a change of scenary(sp?) The sitting and waiting is nerve racking. I’ve been through this with members in my family, but not my mom.
You cannot all be the strong one. Hang in there.
Sylvia says
Very sad day, Jennifer. So sad.
Cate says
Dear Jennifer,
My wish for you is that your miracle wish for peace for you and your family has arrived. What beautiful sentiments you posted and best of all that you kept telling your mom that you’d all be ok. That’s truly what every mother wants to know and hear.
Take good care during these difficult times…
Cate in Marin
Christine says
I’m so sorry about your Mom. Your post brought tears to my eyes and made me call my Mom right away and tell her I love her. You have done a great job for your Mom and you should be very proud. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Linda says
Dear Jennifer,
I am praying for your mother, for you and your family. I hope you get the miracle and peace you seek. Keep telling your mother you love her and spend time with her as much as you can. Take time for yourself, too. You are blessed to have this time with her. I do know what you’re feeling, it’s been a few years since I lost my mother, just shy of her 71st birthday under similar, unexpected circumstances. I know your mother is greatly comforted that you and your siblings are visiting and sharing. And, as others have said, I know what a comfort it is to her to know that you will be ok and stay connected with your siblings should it be her time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Maria says
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing your mother is one of the most difficult things to have to go through in life. I know, I lost my mom when I was 25. Just know that she will live with you, in you, for ever.
antonia rankin says
Dear Jennifer,
It is through the ashes, that new life emerges. You are experiencing this painful passage in life in order to be transformed into a more spiritual being. Journeys and transformations are never easy, But because of the gift of love your mother provided; and will continue to provide in your heart; she has transformed you without you even realizing it.
You are a loving caring person Jennifer, and that love and faith will carry you through this very painful present. I applaud you for writing this all down in your blog. So many individuals experience these things, but very few write it out as sincerely as you did. I know your mother is so proud of you and will always send and surround you with her infinite love and gratitude.
Antonia in Cleveland
onesnap says
Kind thoughts and love to you and your family. We’re here for you Jenny!
kim swenson says
I’ve traveled this same road 4 years ago. Peace is coming to all of your family. Rest assure that soon that the sadness you are experiencing in every cell of your body will be replaced with peace, love and gratitude.
You are doing all the right things because you are your mother’s daughter.
And when your Mom decides that it’s her time to move on, she will let you know in her own way (in a song you hear, a photo you find or in one of your dreams-when your brain finally shuts down for the night) that she is okay, that she’s really proud of you during this difficult time and that she loves you. Forever.
Peace,
kim
Kek says
Hi,
I don’t hve a clue who you are and have no ieda how I just found this site. But, I feel for you.
I’m 34 and I lost my Dad to cancer on March 13th of this year. I know the pain, the heartache…and, sadly, I know the waiting. There is no answer for this…I wish I had one as well but I just don’t. The sadness is so deep, you’re so right. And, even though I’ve faced the end, it boggles my mind as to how that sadness continues to grow deeper and deeper. Someday, they say, that sadness be replaced by something else. We can only hope…and wait.
Again, I feel for you. My mother and father are my two best friends in this world. And, I’ve lost one. I won’t lie, it’s the hardest thing ever. But, we manage and we can remember…and, that, is what keeps me going.
All the best to you and your dear Mom.
Victorygarden says
May the peace find you and you and your dear mother find it.
Joany from RI says
Jen, a wonderful thing happened today. I saw you and Alexis on you tube and had such a wonderful time laughing with you. I am a mother of 2 grown daughters and I have ovarian caner jen. Let me tell you a couple of things in regards to your beautiful mom: 1-if every mother could have a daughter as beautiful and loving as you are to your mom and I know has been for all of your life then you have given her such wonderful gifts. If she could tell you she would hold you and take your pain away because that’s what we mom’s do. The second thing jen is: embrace your siblings, love one another, be good to each other and you have answered your mother’s prayers for her family.
I only pray that should my cancer take my life, I can look back and know that I was loved by my wonderful husband and my children. What else does a mother need?
Your in my prayers my dear. I know the pain you are going through. All of your readers hearts are heavy. You are never alone.
maureen from massachusetts says
Oh my dear Jennifer-
I have been where you are now. I would love to tell you it gets easier but it doesn’t. You just come to terms with what you can change.
Hold tight to the ones you love: they will help you through it.
Remember your mother everyday, see her in your childrens eyes and she lives forever in your heart.
My thoughts and prayers go with you and yours this day
Pam from Kansas says
Jennifer,
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through such a sad time in your life. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones. I wish you comfort and love. Yo are lucky to have such a close and dear friend in Alexis.
Joanne from Washington State says
I just lost my wonderful 92 year old mother. We were in a car accident and I was driving. I followed another car turning left and another car hit us on the passenger side where my dear mother was riding. She died a little later at the hospital. One day I had my mom and the next day I didn’t. I have a giant hole in my heart. I feel for you too. It’s never the right time.
Dolores from Pennsylvania says
Jennifer,
I can understand how you are feeling- all I can say is that the first year will be very hard, but the pain of loosing your mom although always there will diminish as time goes on. I lost my mom in 2007- she was 73. She went into the hospital for a “routine” procedure and things went very wrong. There was no fault, no mistakes made, it was quick and she did not suffer for which I am thankful.
Your mom raised you to be strong and you will come through this- it is hard, but you will. I still have not come to acceptance these years later, but life is a process that one must work through. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You will hear your mother’s voice everyday inside, She is always with you- believe me.
Cheryl says
Jennifer ~ I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when I was about your age and he was 61, in September of 1995. It was the worst thing that I have ever been through and a life altering event. I know that you think things will never be the same again, and they won’t because your family has changed. I know the sorrow is something you think you will never get over and is so raw but time does soften the sadness, you learn to cope. What I learned from my ordeal was to tell your family and friends you love them and life is so precious, you never know what will happen.
Once again, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Edi says
I too will pray!!!
Barbara in California says
Jennifer, My mom died the day after Bunny. We will miss them terribly but know that no matter who you are today or who you will be in the next 50 years you are who you are because of your darling mother. Embrace evryday with your husband and children. My best to you, I get what you are going through.
With love.